i stand here
screaming for your attention
i could climb mount everest
and still it won't be enough

how come they are?
they get kissed and hugged and praised
all i get is a bowl of disappointment
at which i stare with my dumb eyes

i tell myself i don't care
but i'm racing on the inside
looking for a way to break through
notice me, i'm begging you

all i need is a nod of approval
your absence drives me mad
i'll even settle for half a smile
after all, you are my dad.

Deep down from the darkest space
The lifeless voice screams in fear
"Someone get me out of here"
When I go near the voice,
That was not someone else
What I saw was my own soul
Screaming there loud.
It's get suffocated by the facades
I have to wear in front of others.
It's exhausted of taking every breath
As the choice made by other's.
It want to breath without the rules.
It want to smile without the limits.

my heart is black roses,
you’re lying on black roses,
my eyes are of diamond relics,
warm and wet,
my lips are waves of bleeding fire,
I am in diamonds, I am in tears,
I told you I am evanescent in time,
you taste me once and then you die,
I am the storm and nature of your personality,
do you truly understand what hides above and underneath the world?
it’s just above my heart, it’s just a scream,
a purple scream,
the scream of sexuality and love.

addiction
breathe in, breathe out
open the bottle pour a glass
breathe in, scream and shout
how long did I last
drinking oceans hoping to drown
smoking fires hoping to choke
I am spiraling down
I won’t admit that I can’t cope

I wanna scream this pain
Throw it to the room through my vein
Like thunder in pouring rain

What is anxiety it makes me cry
I'm very withdrawn and so very shy
I keep to myself and I pull away
Far from all people that want me to stay

I don't know why I don't know how
I thought I'd understand long before now
It hides way down deep with in my soul
And in the depth of my heart it burns a hole

It's something that no one can understand
Because we are liabeled we are always band
We not like you we all stand alone
We never choose it how could we of known

There was a time that all seemed ok
But in an instant it was taken away
Then we were faced with a life of hell
And only find comfort inside our shell

We are different not quiet like you
But the sad reality is if you only knew
We are the same just so loving and caring
But something inside is frightening and flaring

It's a horrid mixture of emotions and fears
And we are tossed around in a violent oceans
Of panic and stress and deep down depression
With endless hours of endless sessions

We are stuck on an endless roller coaster ride
With demons and dragons deep down inside
Its ups and downs and mental torture
My mind and emotions is my books author

The anger and agony I keep deep inside
It always comes out I wish I could hide
Away from the world the ones I love most
The ones I love dearly the ones I need close

I live in a world of unimaginable horror
Please make it stop make it go till tomorrow
My emotions keep swirling my mind is a mess
I battle to breathe I have tightness of chest

I clinchs and I murmur I stumbled and stutter
I hurt and I scream and I cry and I mutter
I walk to and frow and I groan and I cry
Oh please someone just help me know why

It comes in an instant just out of no where
My emotions of anger once more does flare
I feel like I boarder on mental insanity
Even my hands are wet and clammy

My head is a whirlpool of fear and frustration
It hurts and it screams am I in damnation
Why can't it stop or subside for a while
Am I been punished it's so evil and vile

What have I done what did I do
Why can't I be normal just like you
Where is my peace and quiet I once had
What went wrong that it ended up so bad

There's no one to turn to there's no safe place
No where to run so the house I'll just pace
I sit and I rock and I cry and I'm steaming
The voice of reason gives me no meaning

That little voice that should guide right
Like all my energy again took flight
Now I'm just left with the voices of evil
It's like my body belongs to the devil

So again I'm hurting I'm ripped apart
Another ones about to start
I close my eyes and try wish it away
But like the rest I know it will stay

so often have I
wanted to just fall
to my knees and

SCREAM

at the absolute top
of my lungs
hoping that
maybe it would release
just a bit of all the

RAGE, STRESS, PRESSURE

constantly building up
in my cacophonous mind