…But I fail to grasp…
I really do.

And I fail to write too
about the colossal confusion
in my mind's realm.

To be free must always create glee.

And freedom, consequently,
must incontestably be
the loftiest of all bounty.

✽

…But then they say:

Do not run away from your instincts
…of survival, love, anger, ***…
for if these instincts were not of value,
nature would not have given them to you.

And I muse: Is it true?
Is it?

this incomprehensible link between being free
and the ineluctable visceral slavery?

Won't it rather be that no sooner than you begin to try
to attach (or detach) value to this view or the flip-side

freedom…would indubitably fly

…away?

And then they say that one must surrender.
And thus I agonizingly wonder:

when the mind doesn't wish to unwind
…to let go…
and you bully it to do so

you still cannot be set free

for it is only they who say:
Whatever you resist
shall persist.

✽

And I fail to grasp, I really do,
the cryptic intent of this concentrated glue
of chaotic desire and cardinal instinct
inherently inbuilt
by nature's very own inscrutable mechanism
in (wo)man's puppet-like plight

and then making salvation

the sole noble right
of a free spirit.

✽

An afterthought mulishly survives:

Why?

your warm heart
is the pulse of my life

the sweetest speech is when
i speak to you anna

my salvation
my destiny

the sweetest blood is
your blood anna

your warm heart
is the pulse of my life

the pulse of my life
is your warm heart

my savior
my salvation

the pulse of our lifes
are our hearts

travel with me
i will take you away

forever anna
anna forever

a: absolute love
n: neverlanddreams
n: no other woman
a: absolute love

your name is a
frame

your reflection a
painting

anna+tizzop
tizzop+anna

and this white page has become a bole
our lovenames are engraved in wood

and wood never sinks in water

Sometimes the only way;
To get through the pain;
Is to give the price; you must pay.
So pour on the agony; let it rain.

Turn it into a crucible; forge yourself;
Don’t let anything touch you ever.
Become iron; become steel itself;
And you will be hurt never

the world is colourless
colourless, because it's abandoned
colourless, because it's empty
colourless, because it's dead
colourless, because salvation requires there to be something left to salvage.

selfishness, greed, the lies we told,
there will always be consequence
there is no one left to pin the blame on
because now, we are all guilty.

but there is hope.

after we are gone,
it will finally rain.

after we are gone,
the sky will slowly clear.

after we are gone,
a green stem will grow from the earth.

after we are gone,
nature will survive.

after we are gone,
the world will bring itself back to the prosperity
that it had before we came.

after we are gone,
the world will reconcile
it will return to what it was
without us there to destroy it again.

because, before we were gone,
we forgot that it was not the nature that depended on us
but we the ones that depended on nature.

perhaps it was time for us
to take our leave.

perhaps it was for the best
that humanity was its own fatal flaw,
its own destruction.

Over the past few months,
I've realized nobody is perfect.
Not even myself.

I've realized it's okay to fumble.
It's okay to fall.

It's okay let my emotions
Get the best of me.

It's okay to be angry.
It's okay to be sad.

And I've realized
It's okay to slip up
And fall off the tracks.

I know I'll get right back on the path,
And head towards the direction
The direction towards redemption
And the acceptance of self,
Instead of seeking approval from others.

I know I've made mistakes in the past.
And I've made mistakes in the present day.

For far too long,
I've lived my life,
With a cloud of regrets
Hanging over me.

I can't let the past or present,
Dictate how I live my life.

To move forward,
I have to learn to love myself,
Instead of seeking love from others.

I must learn to forgive myself,
So I can forgive others.

Life is filled with trial and error,
We're all trying to find ways
To find solutions to problems
Instead of trying to fix ourselves.

Today is the day
I work on fixing myself.

I can't live my life
Focusing on the past.

It's time to enjoy life.

It's time to move forward.

I walk in darkness.
In a cave surrounded by black crystals.
The deeper I go. The darker it gets;
The less visible that light behind me becomes.

It's colder now.
The crows have started to sing.
The vampires are coming out of the shadows.
Im in the eye of the storm.

I can hear the waves.
I can see the crescent moon behind the clouds.
There is a light at the end of the cave.
And beneath me, a cliff held up by titans.

I want to go for a swim.
Just jump in.
Swim away with the current.
Go on...do it!

Break the stanza,
Taint the poems.
Burn the letters and jump;

Besieging the circle of an above-ground fort for its light
The cold, sharp wave storms the lighthouse
Robust turret of stones in the middle of nowhere
Off La Rochelle or Le Finistère

And she, agitated, is indeed seavage!

Quietly approaching the canoe on sand
Hope of coconuts, hammocks in palm trees
This tropical land would come from a fable
Mix of lava and water, the Piton has risen!

And she, struck, flies in white vapors!

Reducing the life of country smugglers
She is often tombs of ill-fated Ulysses
How far away she seems, then, the boot of Italy,
For those who have left everything, dreaming of being born there!

And this crossing does not offer a visa!

Stifling pitifully under floating *******
The gray sea without corals is emptied of its life
Only the abyssal fish do not see how
On the surface, belugas find the time long!

And she, once a sanctuary, became compost!

Inspiring, from the foam, the writings of the poet,
Sea, Ocean Blue, Aegean and beautiful Seychelles,
Because without it, our life would have been so thin
In our inner worlds, its flow always calls back!

And she, stained, becomes crystalline again!

See in these painting our vital element
Exhausted, neglected by our great laziness
For it to be paradise and not only distress
Let's save the coastline, fragile like an opal!

Translated on November 2019
Nancy

Keep your back straight
when walking in the rain.
You'll have a better view
of the frightened rats
who scurry for the salvation
you've already found
within yourself.

–Ron Gavalik