Inside the dark room
there is no light
to see

I opened the door,
and went inside

And forgot even me

I have been shy with you
because in secret I SIN
THINKING OF YOU
until I melt in your arms
like a candle all night
shy I will be
Unrequieted I've become
LOVE OF MY LIFE!
in secret I remained loving you
all of my life since we met
when I've been all alone
mad passionate love
I made to you
all the night long
but mostly
I  missed you that much more
when I wasn't all alone
and that was my misfortune  
in secret I learned how to
be loving to you
after you left me p/r
just like Rhett
left Scarlett
I wasn't greedy in this life time
I've seen what
jealousy and greed
can do to lost souls
hating me for the absence
of what they had in excess
ignorance and superstition
many a time they did hurt me
unprovoqued
some bid to take my life
and I did weep
I did CRY for your love
for many other reasons
too painful to mention
my lover of life you
I MISSED YOU SO
knowing me was loving me
had you given me a chance
it got harder not to miss you
as each desolate year flew by
cruel Mr time added penance
to my treacherous path
another queen
took your heart
reading into my soul's
inscripted scarler "A"
my heart resigned in a void
when despair plunged  
your daggar on me
many times I promised myself  
to show you love if you ever
returned
I planed to blindfold me  
or meet you in the dark
that you may see my secret
stars sparkling in full array
to earn your love back
I planed to blindfold you too
  to break the
nefarious silence and gap
so you could feel how identical
from every angle we were
interchangeable twin flames
what a rare occurance
that is
the sun light of God
in you face did blind me
the look in your grassy eyes
burned me up
blew me or re-arranged me
froze numb me
only you had that power on me!
you too the light of God
in my face you could see
all sumissive to you
the years now passed
its Winter love
my old lovers, silence, grief martirdum & regret
refused to leave me alone
how I hated them!
and then some
the bad with the well intentioned ones I also refused
my inner core loved only you

please thaw me slowly now
don't dig your knifes in me
can't you see
I've put everything to sleep
who can live in your love without you
in every life time you left me
for another woman
and
each time I took my life
in jealousy I drowned
in silence I died
WHO AM I?
  the woman who loves you
the MOST
in this whole wide world
THAT'S WHO
Karijin! Jump in my pool
now all my lovers have
finally given up and left me
if you still wish to see me cry
USE honey HUG me
kiss me with your Rhett kiss
spirit breath of life
and if you can't
look at your STAR
in your bed
remember my
constellation is Aries
Gods love bid we should
have married
once upon a time
to change the world.
no more class rich could
marry  poor
You changed my life, love
you Rocked my world
I love you forevermore
LOVE OF MY LIFE.

infinitesimal shards of glass
glisten fiercely underneath neon lights of prospect
a reflection of shattered hopes and aspirations
now lay asunder for being trodden to dust
carpeting over splashes of blood long gone brown
a silver ring or two coated in red
pearls scattered like a life torn to shreds
rag-like bedsheets torn at the seams
as if the fabric of reality was chewed by cruel Fate
emptiness echoing through the debris of humanity;
with a room torn of its plaster wallpaper
paint chipping off like rain
the conconcrete within never looked so ugly as now
hideous and disformed
by weathering the storm of conflicting ideals and isms
numerous cracks snake through concrete body
at any moment ready to crumble to naught.

can anyone fathom what wonders gave birth within these walls?
first loves promised in wedlock,
difficult loves resolved clemently,
impossible loves grew to become the greatest,
broken loves coalescence to wholeness,
platonic loves strengthen for lifetimes,
familial loves strung back once more.
  
Tis was the Rose Room of Ethereal Wonders
that harmonized the tragedies of humans
unfortunately even the worst of chaos is meant to remain unbridled
of which to leave asunder is better
or else You’ll just be a soul sacrified in vain

The room is large,
A place we recharge.
But what is the state of our hearts?

The bed is warm,
No fear of the storm.
But what if our hearts are in parts?

There's lots of gear,
Which we hold dear.
But who will act as our backbone?

The room is great,
But life we hate.
When we are confined and alone.

© Sabrina 2018

Silent thoughts


Candles burning brightly bring visions to my eyes.
Shadows dancing in the corners give this room a supernatural vibe.
As I sit here under the covers, all fears are held below;
I gaze into the broken mirror, in a room with no visible windows.
Curtains hide the outside from me; pictures hang on every wall.
Unopened boxes still sleep their long slumber;
They have sat there since the fall.


Unread books sit on the bookshelf;
The dust has gathered on all their pages.
Cobwebs hang like Christmas decorations,
They show the footsteps the spiders took;
They have been there for ages.


As the cold air slows my heartbeat, I could have been here for a year.
So forgotten, so complicated; there is no-one left to cheer.
I have tried to change the channel,
But everything just sounds the same.
I have tried to feed my hunger,
But my body refuses and so it remains.
A thirst calls out for a glass of water; legs are aching for some help.
If I hired myself a waitress, maybe I could help myself.


Candles flicker in their actions; a silhouette fills all above.
There is a ghostly face on my ceiling; swiftly it changes and all is mud.
As the wick burns down to nothing, I prepare to make a stand.
I am reaching out for lightning; fire in my hands.
As I strike another cigarette with the last match inside the pack,
I carry the flame across every candle; I will have to soon sleep or act.
I whisper words into the emptiness, as several thoughts go passing by.
I take hold of my loneliness and put it out of sight, out of mind.


A man is speaking on the TV and I do not like the news he has to tell,
So I press the off switch at the television,
So I am no longer under its spell…
The sound of silence is beginning to annoy me,
So I flick the switch on the radio.
Another old man tells me something new again;
I need music not this breaking news show.


I try and fail to read a fictional story;
The fading light no help at all.
Remembering former days of glory;
Newspaper clippings on the wall.
All the frames have cracks along them,
Where they have fallen to the floor before.
The memories that live outside my head,
Are entrapped in photo’s that are boxed up against the wall.


I need money to change my life,
But changing times are always hard.
A moth is living where there should always have been plenty of cash.
I take out all the plastic cards…
And I throw them in the trash.


Counting pennies like an accountant;
I don’t just wear this hat for fun.
Another winter of discontent;
Crying out to feel the sun.


Breathing clouds because of the cold air;
Toes are asking Santa for slipper shoes.
I lost my will to try a long time ago;
My heart is not mending, it is way too bruised.


Body aching from a lifetime;
I never give it a second thought.
The clock annoys me more and more,
With every tick-tock and with every chime…
I’m too old to be closing doors.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.