It's that feeling again. A deep longing for something, for someone. For a feeling- an embrace.
As I lay near the window pane with a heaviness inside my heart, I hear a sudden fall. A soft thud replaced by a loud cry. As raindrops started to dominate- I closed my eyes and thought of something.
My mind was blank. My body cold and restless. I reached for the blanket and stuffed myself in.
I've always thought that the rain was melancholy. How it could make me feel happy and sad at the same time. It's either a blessing or a curse. I've thought of it as a nature's call- a sign that even the world gets tired sometimes.
Busy streets, busy people. You will never know how deep the rain is until you have found yourself broken for the first time. How you could feel how angry thunderstorms are and how stupid the rain keeps on falling. You think of it as something you hate for getting yourself wet, but the coldness you will feel after getting a shade will stay. It would be like hearing every droplets fall in slow motion and feeling how heavy the weight is under your chest.
It's like a rhythm, a song you must learn to dance. Feeling the droplets fall into the stillness of your hands. Oh, how you wanted it to stay that way- but it keeps on slipping away. Those droplets delicately stroking your palm and smoothly going in between your fingers. It's like a touch- something you know is nonexistent, but it brings you at peace.
These are the stages- where you feel like everything is falling apart. Sadness is like that- and it will be sad for a while, you know it will be, but then you will notice a streak of sunshine after the rain.
Rain is captivating. Rain is shallow. It's the pain that's inside your heart who keeps on hurting you, the memories you once forgot deciding to ruin you again. It's because of all those things that have made you sad.
Own it. Gravitate to it. Rain isn't all about the sad endings. A rainbow after the rain has always taught me that i can be happy. I can always be happy- as long as i accept the things that are keeping me away from the happiness i deserve. Rain is beautiful. Rain is magical.
Science explained how the rain was made, but i still believe that it's something God has given to us. It was as if even though we have different lives and different problems, it kept us one. Like we know that somewhere and somehow- we have a place to belong to. A place where we know we can truly be free.
And that is what the rain is for me. Something that kept me whole. Something that made me think will wash away the pain of my yesterday. Something i know will last.
. . . . the reason i see the beauty of life. A sign to keep me going. A sign to know that i'm real.
