Papalubog na ang araw. Nakatutok ang mga bata sa harap ng gadget nila. Mga chismosang naninira ng kapwa nila. Lahat ay masaya sa kalayaang nadadama nila.
Lingid sa kaalaman nila ay may isang babaeng nakamasid lamang sa isang sulok.. Dala-dala nito ang alaala ng masakit na kahapon.
ISANG madugong nakaraan- mga bayaning dumanak ng dugo para sa lupang sinilangan. Mga iyak- sigaw at kapighatian ng mga pilipinong inapi nang mga dayuhan. Mga sakripisyong tiniis at inalay nila para sa kalayaan ng bayan.
Nasasaktan ang babaeng iyon. Nasasaktan ang ating Inang Bayan.
It's that feeling again. A deep longing for something, for someone. For a feeling- an embrace.
As I lay near the window pane with a heaviness inside my heart, I hear a sudden fall. A soft thud replaced by a loud cry. As raindrops started to dominate- I closed my eyes and thought of something.
My mind was blank. My body cold and restless. I reached for the blanket and stuffed myself in.
I've always thought that the rain was melancholy. How it could make me feel happy and sad at the same time. It's either a blessing or a curse. I've thought of it as a nature's call- a sign that even the world gets tired sometimes.
Busy streets, busy people. You will never know how deep the rain is until you have found yourself broken for the first time. How you could feel how angry thunderstorms are and how stupid the rain keeps on falling. You think of it as something you hate for getting yourself wet, but the coldness you will feel after getting a shade will stay. It would be like hearing every droplets fall in slow motion and feeling how heavy the weight is under your chest.
It's like a rhythm, a song you must learn to dance. Feeling the droplets fall into the stillness of your hands. Oh, how you wanted it to stay that way- but it keeps on slipping away. Those droplets delicately stroking your palm and smoothly going in between your fingers. It's like a touch- something you know is nonexistent, but it brings you at peace.
These are the stages- where you feel like everything is falling apart. Sadness is like that- and it will be sad for a while, you know it will be, but then you will notice a streak of sunshine after the rain.
Rain is captivating. Rain is shallow. It's the pain that's inside your heart who keeps on hurting you, the memories you once forgot deciding to ruin you again. It's because of all those things that have made you sad.
Own it. Gravitate to it. Rain isn't all about the sad endings. A rainbow after the rain has always taught me that i can be happy. I can always be happy- as long as i accept the things that are keeping me away from the happiness i deserve. Rain is beautiful. Rain is magical.
Science explained how the rain was made, but i still believe that it's something God has given to us. It was as if even though we have different lives and different problems, it kept us one. Like we know that somewhere and somehow- we have a place to belong to. A place where we know we can truly be free.
And that is what the rain is for me. Something that kept me whole. Something that made me think will wash away the pain of my yesterday. Something i know will last.
. . . . the reason i see the beauty of life. A sign to keep me going. A sign to know that i'm real.
It isn't a bad thing,
to love someone else entirely,
and to get drunk with the idea of love,
so you let yourself get wasted.
I wasn't sad nor naive,
but the roses you held before bled,
with a shade of dried maroon red,
i mixed my blood in the palette and painted.
Under the light of the moon, i stare at the stars, wondering if i could be one of them if i died- if i could be immortal. If I could live up as someone who was looked upon- someone who was aware of my existence. It's such a calm night, hearing my favorite songs playing and the curtains swaying by the wind.
It somehow feels magical- like a hidden power. The moon sees me whenever i'm not around a lot of people- sometimes, i think the moon knows all my secrets. I stare at it and wonder if you're looking at it too. I hope you do. I really hope you do.
My love for you is like of an asymptote- a line waiting to be intersected, hoping to be a red string brought by fate.
I wish we could happen- but we can't, because you didn't know... and i couldn't tell you.
So under the light of the moon- i hoped alot. We couldn't happen but it's not yet the end.
We were under the same sky atleast.. That's what I needed, and that's what we will ever be.
So I hope you remember me, not just that someone who walked past you, the one you caught staring at you, and the one you were really annoyed to... because if you only knew..
Your happiness was mine too.
It wasn't an underestatement. Those three words were not enough to explain how i felt for you. Nobody knew.
So if ever you looked up at the midnight sky- I hope you think of me, not just that someone who would creep behind just to catch a glimpse of you..
. . . . but as the girl who would have given the world to know.
It was like breathing every ocean air and letting go. Like a sunshine creeping in the small corner of your room and those familiar eyes you once loved turned to you slow in recognition.
Like your favorite red balloon slowly slipping away from the tip of your finger. An old photograph left in the lost places of a book.
That's what i used to be. Someone who tried so hard to make you laugh. Someone who wanted to make you happy. Someone who prayed so hard to make it last.
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe you were just another lesson being taught to me. Someone who could only stay for a while and leave you when you're asleep.
A nightmare dressed like a daydream. An angel who was ought to destroy me in the end.
I've gone too far from reminiscing the past,
the world is turning so fast,
Nobody dared to help me catch my breath,
it's like as if i never really did exist.
In this world of chaos,
i found myself changing,
from sandcastles and september rain,
to the smell of gas and fire burning.
It was the kind of hurt where your tears were falling silently. Your eyes eyeing the ceiling and being unable to think of anything- and those silent sobs you left- that was the proof you were hurting.
And no- it was not that kind of hurt, not yet. It was that kind of hurt where you were left wondering about the things you've done. That kind of hurt where you've locked yourself out inside a cubicle and cried. That kind of hurt where you feel like swimming in the icy waters and feeling yourself go numb.
And no- that was not all. You've only seen that small tip of an iceberg- not the dept.