24 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Nothing lasts forever, and that we both knew.
Now we’ve become strangers with memories.
We were bound together by our mutual gravity.
But nothing lasts forever, even the stars die eventually.
It’s hard to proceed and progress with the burden of our stress.
Please sit beside me in silence, I just need to know that you’re here.
I’ve been dreaming with my eyes open ever since the day I met you.
It was your presence that held me together as my world fell apart.
I wonder how long I’ll keep walking around with this broken heart.
Our love became a poem that we patiently wrote without words.
Our peers have fallen in love with the habit of not falling in love.
I miss the days when we used to speak French without saying a word.
I keep doing this thing wrong and putting myself in places that I don’t belong.
Another night with ***** in my cup accompanied by the lyrics of a Drake song.
So, cry if you need to because it’s hard to proceed and progress with so much heartbreak and stress.
Touch if you need to and I’ll stay to hold you because you need to know I’m still here.
Talk if you need to because the silence between us is destroying the bond that we share.

21 | 31 Poems for August 2017

We have both grown up and in that process, we grew apart.
You weren’t emotionally prepared when I said that I love you.
You dismissed my feelings so cold and quickly, I questioned whether you were planning to stay.
In hindsight, it’s obvious that you were destined to leave, what were your plans anyway?
I’ve been writing melancholic poetry and hoarding unforgettable memories.
I question everyone that does not pledge their allegiance to love and loyalty.
I have been reminiscing about the past and all the time that we wasted.
Music that I listen to reminds me of something distant that we used to be.
I should have given you every single part of me when I still had the chance.
I finally understand that it’s too late for me to be apologising for my mistakes.
Apart from attempting to become lovers, we were good friends and now we don’t talk anymore.
It’s such a shame, not even a simple hello could ever suffice, now tell me who’s to blame?
Is it me for becoming emotionally distant or you for giving up too easily on something worth fighting for?
I’ve been looking at your pictures since you left and I can’t seem to delete them from my phone.
When you dismissed my feelings for you, I questioned whether you were planning to stay.
In hindsight, it’s obvious that you were destined to leave, what were your intentions anyway?
We’ve become strangers with memories, it’s obvious that you will never love me like you used to.

17 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Let me whisper those sweet words that held together the shattering glass you think you’ve become.
I know that through their utterance you will finally feel your heart beating to the rhythm of our love.
I want our long late-night conversations and phone calls to come to life again.
Because I miss hearing your voice on Wednesday afternoons and the joy in your sporadic bursts of laughter.
Sometimes you feel as if you’re running away from the constant pang of unworthiness that your heartbeat has become.
The world has made you feel like an abandoned church, but in my eyes, you’ll always be a cathedral.
I just wish you’d stop running away from the fear of finding something so genuine and just run into my arms.
I want the chance to breathe love down your spine; I want to be with you until the love runs out.
In a world ravaged by cold wars, our love and happiness is what we should be constantly fighting for.
Life will bend and stretch the both of us into painful shapes, but I know that we will eventually be okay.
During cold winter nights and warm summer mornings, I long to have the presence of your body next to me.
I know that we didn’t come this far, to only come this far.

it’s been a while since I last saw you.
how have you been?
you’ve been on my mind lately,
now i’m wondering
if you still think of me.

i wonder;
do you hate me?
do you miss me?
do you still love me?
such questions just cross my mind.

now i’m not sure if I’m longing for you
or just reminiscing—
but i’m hoping that someday
to have you back in my life
even just as a friend.

8 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I’ve been reminiscing about the past and all the time that we wasted.
I should stop trying to hold on to something that I need to let go of.
I have no logical explanations about how the heart wants what it wants.
All I know is that your love is all that my heart treasures and knows.
That’s probably the main reason why I cannot let these memories go.
No matter what people say, you will always remain beautiful to me.
Back when we were together, I always thought you’d always be mine.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So, I always thought that you would be able to show me how.
Whenever you need arms to run into, just know that I’ve got you.
I’ve been reminiscing about the past and all the time that we wasted.
I guess it is true – time gradually blunts the edges of sharp memories.
Hope you’ve found a way to slow down your intake of ***** and Hennessy.
Whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, just know that I’ve got you.
For some odd reason, I always thought that you’d always be mine.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So, I always thought that you would be able to show me how.

Skimming stones across the water

All these memories flash before my eyes

Things were good back then.
Now you get under my skin.
Once upon a time you were my everything
all of this has changed 

You and I 
we went our separate ways
now all that I can do

is reminisce about better days
you’re lingering here in dreams
still envision you, standing in front of me
Maybe this will all fade with time
but right now babe,
you’re still here in my mind

Here I am counting all the ways

we let each other down,

how did you just stand there,
you just let me drown,
in all of this pain.
Just sitting in this park, after dark

gazing at all these stars
how could we drift this far apart?
like a river rises,
 I’m flooded with emotions
For you, I was totally devoted
how could you give up on me
When I needed you most
All is lost, my heart is crushed
I lost you in this love

Hey girl, once there was a time

All I wanted was you to be mine,

All of the jealousy in me
Lead me to places, I never thought I would see
It made me become, everything I said I’d never be
I am looking for all the signals 
that lead us to this,

How was this something we couldn’t fix

Wasn’t me who chose it, to be this way.
How could you go lead me astray
Seems you ****** the light right out of me
and all these emotions, I can’t control
all of this hurt, Don’t wanna feel anymore
Make me numb, I don’t want to feel anymore.

Here I am counting all the ways

we let each other down,

how did you just stand there,
you just let me drown,
in all of this pain.
Just sitting in this park, after dark

gazing at all these stars
how could we drift this far apart?
like a river rises, 
I’m flooded with emotions
For you, I was totally devoted
how could you give up on me
When I needed you most
All is lost, my heart is crushed
I lost you in this love

Standing on this ledge

looking over a vast ocean

I could jump at any moment
So I can drown in this emotional ocean

Let the salt sting all these wounds 
that you left upon me
all these scars reveal, the pain you left me in
Can you see it, see this is what you did
Thought we were the perfect two
only to be heartbroken by you
How could an angel, cause this kind of hurt
How could someone I trusted so much
tear me completely apart, shattered and broken

Words that never should have been spoken
Were revealed in conversation

I need to escape this vindication
baby, I’m lost in this confrontation
need my own constellation
just to escape this situation

Here I am counting all the ways

we let each other down,

how did you just stand there,
you just let me drown,
in all of this pain.
Just sitting in this park, after dark

gazing at all these stars
how could we drift this far apart?
like a river rises, 
I’m flooded with emotions
For you, I was totally devoted
how could you give up on me
When I needed you most
All is lost, my heart is crushed
I lost you in this love

©2017 Written By Benji James

I miss the way
You used to sit
On your front lawn
Waiting for me to see you
So that I'd come and talk to you
You were too shy to knock on the door
But your secrets you told me them all
And I miss all the ways
you and I couldn't take our eyes off each other
You had all my attention
I miss that emotional expression

Tell me what happened to us
How did it turn out I wasn't good enough
I think about you every day
Tell do you even think about me?
And every time you were with another guy
The jealousy kicked in
But I couldn't let it show
I just wanted you to be happy

Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
Baby, you don't know
What you mean to me
Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
You're everything I see
You're everything I need
Hey, hey baby
Why don't you want me?

We haven't talked in so long
And I tried to forget
What you meant to me
But it seems every time I forget
Dreams remind me
Just what you mean to me
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to show you this love
When you're with someone
And all I want to do
Is hold you close beneath
These stars
Your hands fit perfectly in mine
Yeah, baby, you're always
Running on my mind

Tell me what happened to us
How did it turn out I wasn't good enough
I think about you every day
Tell do you even think about me?
And every time you were with another guy
The jealousy kicked in
But I couldn't let it show
I just wanted you to be happy

Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
Baby, you don't know
What you mean to me
Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
You're everything I see
You're everything I need
Hey, hey baby
Why don't you want me?

Oh honey memories ignite
In my head
while I'm laying in bed
I remember back to conversations that we had
I remember back to every smile every laugh
That we had
I remember every tear that you cried
And every time I had you wrapped in my arms
But there was once where I held you
But you wouldn't hug back
That's when everything
Started to go wrong
And I felt I was losing you more every day
Until I completely lost you one day
I don't wanna relive that again

Tell me what happened to us
How did it turn out I wasn't good enough
I think about you every day
Tell do you even think about me?
And every time you were with another guy
The jealousy kicked in
But I couldn't let it show
I just wanted you to be happy

Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
Baby, you don't know
What you mean to me
Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
You're everything I see
You're everything I need
Hey, hey  baby
Why don't you want me?

I'm missing you
And how we used to think the other people we'd seen
You didn't think any other girl was good enough for me
And I still don't think any guy is good enough for you
It should have been me who ended up with you
Instead, I guess I lost out
So I have to reminisce in memories you left me with
And I'll just have to deal with it
Just know there is nothing I wouldn't do for you
I'm always gonna be here when you call
I'll be there if you ever need help
getting back up after a fall

Tell me what happened to us
How did it turn out I wasn't good enough
I think about you every day
Tell do you even think about me?
And every time you were with another guy
The jealousy kicked in
But I couldn't let it show
I just wanted you to be happy

Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
Baby, you don't know
What you mean to me
Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
You're everything I see
You're everything I need
Hey, hey baby
Why don't you want me?

©2017 Written By Benji James

It seemed my mind would rather be preoccupied.

Crushed ice to cool off the burn on my tongue,
heady liqour to sooth the burn in my chest.
Tan lines to replace the once marked skin,
Velvet chokers to replace the pressure,
and new strumming to replace the wailing.

Summer dresses to cover my quivering,
along silver rings to cover the shaking.

Not so unexpectedly I glance a familiar countenance,
so I unravel and everything re-wires.
I'm fighting the studying of coincidences,
but the search is inevitable.

Old tears stain new sheets,
old methods replace new tricks,
and old memories replace new concerns.

Now it seems I haven't put you to bed.
Instead I lie in that bed wondering if you're the same.