10/5/16

he left for the west without a single gesture
or farewell
and I was left with the memories of our pillow talk
and how we spoke of the future straight into the night
at first, we were innocence
a soft peck on my nose
then my cheek
and my mouth which he finally silenced with blissful inquiry
our bedside hello's while holding fractured mugs
and each hour i realized how fleeting adolescence was
scarred by the thrill and demise
i relapsed into your hands
and then the evening and the world i created caved in around me
seconds stood still like fragments of debris in an hourglass
our timeline shaped by an unfortunate call
and we swore to never hold on again
but maybe this last time here in this familiar room with each other was justified
you cried for me in secrecy
because you didn't want to feel weak
we were wrapped in black jackets and strode in black shoes on the first of november
blistering cold
we couldn't feel our hands but we shared a cigarette
each inhale stained with the pigments of my lipstick
and you made it okay
but you left for the west

As I lay I stare
Surrounded by the flowers
Blowing gently in
The tall grass
That waves back and forth
Brushing up against me
Like your skin once did

The slight cool breeze
The sun's perfect heat
A comfort on my eyes
From the clouds in the sky
My silent symphony
The closest synonym

It's the first love's last kiss
The last love's first kiss
The unanticipated memory

It's the happy moments turned into tear stains on my favorite shirt i wore just because i new i was seeing you

It's the first love's last cry
The last love's first cry
The moments we can't forget

It's reminiscing to a time you found out you were depressed because you had never felt true happyness until you met her

You left me with all these memories
The way you stir your coffee
That eyebrow you would raise
Your quiet confidence
Your understated
Elegant style
Your knowing ways
You had me at hello
And now at goodbye
Always and still you amaze

I'm a better man for loving you
A sadder man for losing you
I'm not going through a phase
Just reminiscing, maybe convincing myself
That I'm gonna be OK

Dreams come in two varieties
Those of tomorrow or the other
For me, for us, there is only the past
Why I dream only of yesterday
I have no choice
It just turned out that way

I can almost touch you at times
But when I try, you turn away

He continued to sing sweet ideas of romance into her eager ears and when she finally allowed her heart to flutter and butterflies to dance in her stomach, he would leave. It was a never ending cycle she wished she could stop. But at the end of the day, when she was crying every last tear out of her swollen eyes, she would close them and relive every single memory they’ve had together, allowing her to feel like she was with him, when in fact, she was farther away from him than she ever was.

The worst part is that I can remember the first moment I laid eyes on you.
There weren't fireworks,
Angels didn't sing down from the heavens,
It was completely un-miraculous.
I looked at you,
You looked at me,
And we both looked away.
What was truly special, were the looks exchanged there after.