“It’s you.
It’s always been you.
It’s always going to be you”

I'm sorry-
my heart is pounding.
these thoughts are crowding
and I can't seem to tell them no.

I didn't mean to say that-
to do that.
You'll forgive me though, right?
You'll still love me?
Oh, you don't have to.
I understand.
I'll just be outside,
waiting to be let in.

Do you lie awake at night
wondering
about when the pain will go away
and when you'll see a better day?

Have you ever thought
maybe you just aren't good enough
and you're bound to live the rest of your days
depressed and distraught?

Did you ever say
this is just too much
when you hit rock bottom
and didn't know how long you'd stay?

This is a message from me to you
Don't forget that you are you
and of all who roam this world
there are none the same as you

Don't ever think for a second
you don't matter, or you aren't good enough
Your mere existence is something special
There's more to this than you can see

If you've been hoping for someone to tell you
I hope I can make my message clear
Set the blade down, please don't disappear
The world wouldn't be the same
if you weren't here

It's not much, but
I hope this is what you needed to hear
I know you're stronger than what you fear

Here I present to you
A single deck of cards.

I cannot tell you
which card is on top
nor the second, nor third.

But if we flip one over,
One by one,
And stack them into a new deck,
soon we will know the face
of every single card.

So let's take some time to wander
through these dark, dreary places
And we'll sift through these cards,
Jacks, Queens, Kings, Aces.

There are days,
when I feel emotionally overwhelmed
with negativity.
I start to notice the hesitancy
in people's voices,
I start reading and interpreting
between lines.
I start to notice all the
negative intricacies that can hurt me
and over analyze to have found myself
creating chaos within myself.

It is during those days,
do I feel drained that I don't
have the energy to positively
reinforce my own thoughts.

These are the days,
I need reassurance,
perspective change
from someone, other
than myself.

What if I told you, young man.

What if I told you, you will be an adventurer. Not just land but mind body and soul.
What if I told you, you would be wild and un-tamed like a cloud before a storm.
What if I told you, You would be loved heard, respected, and admired in the places of absent thought.
What if I told you, your deepest dream would wrap you in perfect euphoria just to be with you.

What if I told you....that you would be hated.
What if I told you, you would get lost in the sea's of the mind and heart.
What if I told you, bridges burn faster when fueled by neglect.
What if I told you, you would hold the hearts of love in your hands and throw them to the wind.

What if I told you....you'll be okay.
What if I told you....dont worry young man. These are not but the tears of time settling in the letters of mind.

And its my word for yours in a yours that is ever mine.
Do not worry young man, for what i have told, its only the prelude to the story that is only ever.

Yours.

Rolling hills in the country seen him fall apart and put himself back together day in and day out. He remained buoyant and intact because he loved. His heartbeat was loud for everyone, especially for his kids. I watch him tear up when he’s proud, and cry when he misses his mom. Hurt by the world, but still smiles to reassure the blisters will heal, and to seek elucidation for why the hills watch.

I'm in need.
My self doubt like a snowball
and it's picking up speed.

I'm in need.
I look like a flower
but I grow like a ****.

I'm in need.
My head trapped in a cage
and it must be freed.

I let the feeling in of loss spread in my chest like a devious seed.
Why do I do these things when they cause me to bleed?

If I just keep pushing
I will never succeed
I will reach too far down this road
Where it is too late to recede
Down into my throat
These false fixes i force feed

reassurance
support
love
honesty

What do I need?