Our conversation runs dry.
And I'm her again.
Was I truly inhumane?
I know I shouldn't feel any pain,
But your absence,
It soils my existence
Like a blood stain.
And who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I to entertain
Your selfish choice to abstain
From communication with her.
And who is her,
Chasing a you.
And you're scared too.
You're scared to love me.
And you're scared to love me.
And I'm a fool.
Cause I wasn't scared to love you.
And who am I?
Who am I
I'm scared to love you.
I'm beginning to feel as empty as my room when you left.
I want to fill the space,
But it hurts to try.
I think because I'm scared,
That if you come back,
That when you come back?
You won't want a room
That isn't yours anymore.
It's nice to get your thoughts out of your mind and step back.
You used to joke
About us only being acquaintances.
You used to claim you didn't know me,
With a smile on your face,
And it was some dumb, fun game.
I'm starting to feel like,
You weren't joking in the first place.
Maybe only I thought it was a game.
I'm tired of writing about love,
So this poem is different,
Instead I'll write something new.
I won't write about it.
About how I miss you,
The feeling bubbling up inside me,
And spilling out in the form of nostalgia.
About how I felt when you said those three words,
My emotions clawed at each other,
Trying to jump in and play,
Yet trying to hold themselves back.
About your promise to see me again,
And how suddenly my mind was in the clouds,
Wishing we were there together.
No, I won't write about it,
I'll write about something new,
After wanting to write about you.
started on feb 22 2019 at 1:04 am
I wake up,
Birdsong filling the air,
My unfinished homework
Who had watched me sleep unaware.
My phone unplugged,
Dying faster than I am.
Wrapped in content loneliness.
A common quarantine sight for me
What you said to me,
I promise I'll see you again,
Is a promise I hope you'll keep.
You told me
"You could do better."
But all I could think of was
"Why would I?"