Maybe people tend to be hurt
to know that it's not all about
p a i n
but
*realizing that there are more great things they deserve

and just for some reason
I discovered that I deserved better
than I what I was receiving.

12.13.14 this day, my day
I was given another year to live
Another year to grow
Another year to start a new

This day have made me realize
Realize that I have to let you go
Let go of the thoughts of you
Let go and never have to look back

I was then never remembered by you
I was never been special for you
I can say you were never mine
And I will never be yours

I have thought for days and hours
But you never remembered my day
As you have told me you would be
Would be there when it will come

I hope every time I scratch his back
And whisper in his ear
You feel it
I hope it makes you feel sick to
Your stomach
And I want you to dance with her
To our song
At your first concert together

Her finger nail marks
And purple love wounds
Will have my DNA all over you
It's gonna be me punching you in the gut
When she doesn't return your texts
Or calls anymore

I'll knock the air out of you when you can't accomplish something
I'm the slamming doors and broken pencils
All around you

Every pill you take for the next
10 years
Will have my initials on it

My insanity
Will make you puke your brains out
And you can call me crazy
But insanity is beautiful
And you're gonna get bored
Without me

The ugliness of normality
Will wrap around your face
And try to stick it's fist in your mouth

You'll gag until you say my name in vein

The dots in every punctuation mark
At the end of every sentence
You'll ever mutter
Will be one of my blinks
From waking up in the middle of the night
To find you with someone else
Asleep

My therapist will get all of the gifts I gave you
And they will hoard the memories
So I don't have to anymore

I've been doing well, only a couple stitches.
But how do u heal a scar that can't be seen
You're the thread and I'm the wound
But we are both the blood

You'll wake up to me screaming in your dreams
To find rose petals all over ur bed
Thorns in ur ankles

Sorry you had to speak at my funeral

I was ready
Two years
countless single-person
arguments

Countless late nights
Dozens of dreams
and thousands of thought threads
later

I was ready
And then you waltzed
out of my life
without even knowing

That you had crushed the chances
and pushed away
a long overdue apology

I'm sorry
I was ready
and
**I'm sorry

One dull grey day had just passed
Leaving me feel like an outcast
Then thinking of what had gone wrong
For me not to feel strong.

As I think deeper
The thoughts are getting weirder and creepier
Making me feel like lost in a crowd
Making me shout out loud.

When I am already calmed down
I shook my head and frown
Realizing I have more important things to do
That to keep on feeling so blue.

So I stood up with my head held high  
And said, "I am now ready to fly"-
Fly away from my sorrows
And look up for better tomorrows.

I'm looking out my window watching the sun dip beneath the sea ever so slowly, the pinks, oranges, and yellows melting together reminding me of my favorite sherbet dessert.

It is scenes like this that ease the pain of reality and worry, something I like to playfully call "worrality" in my own creative chaotic mind.

Everything is questionable, dubious, subject to change is what I have come to find. There are no rules written in the Earth telling us the proper or right way to live, and that is something that we tend to miss. Overlook. Misunderstand.

The sun instinctually and purposefully rises and sets every morning and night to give us another chance to make these precious, subtle, but vital, realizations. And even though we do not see its yellow circle on stormy rainy days, the earth continues to glow and so do we.

Some things never matter
Some people never care
Some souls never wander
Some heroes never dare.

Some lips never smile
Some eyes never stare
Some love lasts for a while
Some hearts break and wear.

Some books stay with dust
Some flowers die under the rain
Some friends we can't trust
Some stories end up in vain.

Some tongues speak lies
Some smiles take away pain
Some kisses end loud cries
Some promises never remain.

Some glitters never shimmer
Some fame doesn't last a lifetime
Some sad songs forget about summer
Some writers forget about dime.

Some poems are just written
Some poems are out in the sun
Some poems are carefully hidden
Some come out when the poet's gone.