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Cali Apr 2018
Your eyes are not as blue as his
Overcast versus July seaside
But your heart is 18k while he is plated
Cheap doesn't last as long
You both tarnish at the sight of me
Kiss my forehead after the other wipes away the hair covering it
Rest your hand on the back of my neck after the other lightly chokes
We find fun within delicacy
Teeth marks on my back
Thorns in my *******
Roses on the bed
Love in the air
But you are the same color as the streets
I've always loved the sun
Yet something is so wonderful about finding happiness in your dreariness
I'm sorry if I choose summer over spring
I am naive
Barely a woman
So I cant withhold anymore drenching
I promise I will love your rain when it pours
I'm barely a woman I can't promise I'll choose you
Cali Feb 2018
I still keep up with you. I think about you all the time and feel embarrassed the more I write these. Like a broken record I guess. You're doing fine with your job and you're moving in life. Im happy that you're happy. I Hope you're okay because maybe you hide any pain like I hide behind this folder of notes. I don't know why I chose the eight ball emoji for the title. Maybe a subconscious fear of never knowing when you're going to leave. or when you'll stop calling. I still feel like your girl and I feel stupid because you're looking for another one and I write words into my phone at 2 am that I know you would be fine listening to.. but what kind of woman would I be if I let you know that no matter how many times you choose me as lost option, ill always be here in the middle of the night saving you some blanket.
from my notes
Cali Feb 2018
About 2.5 months now

I'm saving up to see you
I bought summer clothes
maybe you'll see me in my yellow dress
I think you'll like it

Its after midnight and I've been trying to fall asleep since 21
My mind wandered to you
I laughed at myself for a while

You're going to make me run out of tears
because you're not here to dry them

00:08
From my Notes
Cali Feb 2018
How can you feel like home
When you're foreign to me

17:22
From my Notes
Cali Feb 2018
I keep comparing people to you. I can't find someone else. Everybody has too much baggage but you're a suitcase I could live out of forever.

2:09 am
From my notes
Cali Feb 2018
Its 1 am and I have tears streaming down my face because I thought of our legs intertwined. It doesn't feel like home but like a past life or a future life or a dream. Its surreal. I told you that you would haunt me. The loss of you is a monster under my bed and I'm too afraid to open my closet doors to find that you've forgotten about me so soon.

1:13 am
From my notes
Cali Feb 2018
Coffee tastes bitterer when you're not in bed next to me
From my notes
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