im in love with the way
your hands
they shake
when you pass the last cigarette

in love with how
it took you so long to come my way

the way you take your time
to find what's right

im in love with the way
you take what's yours
without apologies
or tainted words

the way even the back of your hands
smell like a home i'll never have

the way the entirety of the cosmos
fit themselves so kindly in your eyes

how the joy of summer's first sun-rays
washes over me with your laugh

the way Sundays just aren't so lonely
when i know you're the Monday that comes next

i love the taste of cigarettes
coming from your lips

the lips that open me up like you're giving me new life

i love the way i feel no pain
i love the way you feel like the rain
you cleanse me of my sin
and you help me begin
to see my life as something more precious
i love the way my reflection
isn't quite as disconcerting
when i see you in the mirror too

i love the way my soul starts to leave my body
to be a little closer to you

i love the way that music sounds different

i love the way it feels
to know someone like you is real

and the terror at thinking
that this is not

that this is just a notion
and i'm just here
like drift wood floating in the ocean

i love the way you can't be fixed
to anyone's idea of what this is

i love the way your voice feels
like a summer's sweet breeze
drifting through the doorway

i hate the way i miss you
because you're not mine to miss

i hate the way i kiss you
knowing i can't own this sweet bliss

i hate the way i feel you
in every guitar string i pick

the way i smell you here
even when you're somewhere else

the way you stay in my mind
like memories stained stronger
than spilt red wine

i love the way my vision has changed
everything looks different with you

minutes become seconds and years become days
i love the way you keep me
in a sublime haze

and god how it stuns me
that somehow
someway
it took you so long to learn to love yourself

you look like an island
like shelter from a storm

i love the way
all i need is your gaze
to make me feel warm

and the way you still walk me home
even though it's not home to me

i hate the way i can't have you
never should and never could
and i know i don't need more
and i don't deserve more

i know it would all fall apart
and i know it's a waste of time
trying to turn water to wine

i know i don't want to make this real
i know already know how this ends
but i wish there was a way
to bottle you up
to save for the day
when this is all just pictures in my brain
playing like an old movie
soundtrack i can't get out of my head
subtitles in a language i no longer speak

negatives held up to the sun
blurry and incoherent
like my thoughts when you're around

but beautiful pictures
like people
find their way to the light
you develop me like a picture portrait
of someone you'll soon say you used to know
and i'm just a fool who is grateful
for having been able to sit in on your show

but i'll stay in the back
and i'll leave before the credits start to roll
so when the curtains close
i won't have to watch you go

I was confronted last night
Amidst my dreams
Assaulted by thoughts
That dwell at the seams

Of hastily stated
Promising thoughts
Alas, proved the dream
Such promises false

For I don't have the courage
Not then and nor now
Thank goodness my dreams
They showed me just how

I told you that you should always be
thankful, things are getting
better, the process
is just rather slow,

and I told you that the proof lies
in the fact that you still have some
sanity left today,
if things weren't getting better,
then what else
could you be holding onto?

You ask me not to tell you
So I will show you.

Continually proving myself
It’s a test
I hope I pass it.

And every time I fail you
I hope that you don’t doubt the truth

I love you.

There's a vato in the milky way sporting a fedora and a stash...
I saw him from a mountain .....high somewhere between New Mexico and Arizona .....smashed.

I took a pic to pinch myself
get proof of what I'd seen.  
And sure enough when
I zoomed in there
he was, looking really mean.

I never knew the Aztecs had gone to outer space....but I have proof... I can show you...you could never miss his face.

My feet are anchors, sinking as I collapse
into your arms; hearth-warmed fabric wraps –
your quiet affection – around us; communication lapses.

No words are needed, for the light fluttering of
our hearts join in subtle chorus, muttering
unutterable truths about love, and suffering.

*

Unutterable truths about love! – and, suffering,
our hearts join in subtle chorus, muttering
"no" – words are needed for the light fluttering of

your quiet affection; around us, communication lapses
into your arms: hearth-warmed fabric wraps.
My feet are anchors: sinking as I collapse.

I dont’t need a man to
love me to feel loved,

I just need a man to prove
to my brain that I can be loved by one.