With that self inflicted wound were she ripped out her own soul
There was things she didn't know
Things that also had to go

What went first was empathy
Followed close by sympathy
Then of course was faith
But that really died with years of agonizing wreath
I would say dreams
But those died years ago it seems

What hurt the most
And why it was so hard to cope
Was the microcosm thin string holding hope
It was crushed in the grind
No where you look, will you find

She no longer believed in yin and yang
Or karma, they where the same, nonexistent
She seemed to know it in an instant
Nothing happened for a reason
To think that would be treason
It was all just random chaos, and dumb luck
Just depends on what side of the coin you're stuck
There was only random acts of cruelty
This world is more than unruly

With these facts now planted firmly in her head
What little light within her fled
The darkness slowly seeped inside
As she gasped out one silent sigh
Now totally consumed, she would never shed a tear, it was as if she had never cried
For her former self passed away, her old personality died

It's like I know I don't fit in
I shouldn't be here, I don't belong here
With the suits and the boots and the people who have roots
My history's lawsuits and bootprints and long hard routes

Born of an african decent
Grown up of color lucent
Dark though magnificent
A Lady of conducent minds

I dine with her
And time has come
For me to Spend some dime
A time well spent shall save my dime.

Without a Penny
I fail to impress Jenny
A smile that's canny is all I get
I pull out my money
and she smiles like a bunny.

I buy her a meal
to seal the deal
As if a gill she gets a thrill.
She shows she's dill and fails to eat
I pay the bill and eat the meal.

Complimentive talk I start to give  Repulsive as she starts to aggrieve
Coercive now she wants to leave
Proactive as i plead with her
Reactive after a hell of thrive
Alas i win with her I live.

Like a child
I need to be protected from the monsters that only I can see
Like a child
I need to be held closely when all my nightmares come to be.
Like a child
I need to believe in everything and to be believed in too
Like a child
I need someone to be my comfort blanket so I can make it through
Like a child
I need to be told I'm loved and cared about every day
Like a child
I must be reminded that everything is going to be okay.

(The Art of Failing Goodbye)

I covet your closeness; how could I not? You were my world once upon a mime. Honestly. Though my pride will deny it, our demise left me discarded. Hiding amongst the few collateral souvenirs: stupidity and bitterness.

I bestowed to you the best of me; although you never asked me to. My heart, body, and soul - yours for the taking - a decision made on my own accord. Because you never asked me for any of it. You never asked me to do the things I did. But I loved you - innocent as that. Thus, relinquishing logic entirely.

Hardly more than a stranger, I felt I knew you; unaware of the lidded fabulist within. A mere tourist of my chassis; enthralled by my looks. Enthralled by just me. “In love” so deep, you attempted suicide twice. Upon my rejection – in theory. They almost beat you to death, and left you to the wolves. Deserved it? An understatement tenfold. And yet. My compassion was what saved you.

I protected the same entity who pulverized my own.

They all said you were no good – they said a mythomaniac would leach onto me until there was nothing left, ****** dry – then you would leave. Onto the next; life on the move. Daddy said you’d leave me in shambles. Was he right?

…Duh.

A question sheathed in rhetoric; absolutely. A black hole does not give back. Wake UP, m Maple – Ali – Oliver – whatever you are today.mWake up, you ******. And look here.

You ruthied(sp?) me last Halloween, took my body as your own, enabled a cycle I’ll no longer accept. The girl who cried ****…an alias to forever haunt me.

No one believed me then. Why would they now?

This final hurrah; a Halloween blackout. Wherein, you personified my worst nightmare. A cruel and unusual punishment – at best. And then.

You slithered and slinked away; no apologies – no goodbye for me. You’d taken all of me. Just like they said. All my value – dismembered and pocketed. Off you went…as predicted. Onto the next…life on the move.

You etched your gimmick; smuggling trust; squirreling intuition - these morals I'd entombed - you burrowed away. Promising Eden, you offered a map; directing me as I sailed the route. The garden, however, was not what I found. My catafalque(coffin) negated expectations you set; a utopia of dazzling, abundant nature. For, you'd devised a mousetrap; and I'd glissaded willingly inside…

For the very last time, gaze entwined. Blue on brown.

SNAP.

staring, staring, staring
off into the distance
you assume my gaze is fixed at the wall
but i see a different world
im staring with my heart
not my eyes