you were a rare specimen,
i wanted to catch you with my words,
paralyze you with my gaze,
dissect you with my tongue,
and stuff you with my love,
i wanted to keep you as a trophy,
but you were wild, and i was eccentric.
Be part of my vanilla sky
As I am the black
Would be the cream
That would complete the white
In the midst chaos
Would graciously fal-;;,
[I would wish]
That my body
A C H E S
My body systems crash
p a r a l y z a t i o n
That would be the term
Just to have extra time
To lay with you.
I just do I don't reflect
My feet are moving on cement
I want my toes to taste the sea
I want my soul to climb the tree.
I just smile but I don't mean it
Acting is within my remit
Talk so much make them believe it
Lost my soul I can't retrieve it.
I just do I don't regret
These thoughts all day I can't forget
Consumed inside I'm left alone
I paralyze... I turn to stone.
Captivated in my own mind,
Silence throughout the night.
Paralyze sitting on a chair,
With heavy thoughts of my own.
Whispers of the night,
Startle my silence.
Open up my eyes once more,
As they awoken me from my slumber.
I had a dream about a memory
So vivid I recall conversations
My subconscious made up a story
And turned it into nightmarish creations
Mimicked the past, I got lost for too long
Paralyzed, I'm no longer strong
Head can now explode
But my hair rises black
Higher than this
Feeling inside like
the sound could send waves
In new directions.
Capture or let go...
They both make me feel
Unable to do anything else
The roar is paralyzing me
Get me into the black hole
I need the other side
You would be blind by now
But I see too much
Scratching out your eyes.
This one written about the chaos felt inside when trying to help a mentally ill loved one who still can not see and the broken, broken system for treating our seriously mentally ill in America.
To pack everything,
from the place we used to call ours.
The empty boxes are staring back at me.
I can't bring myself to fill them.
I'm scanning the apartment that used to be ours..
I'm seeing our history repeating itself.
I somehow see your shadow from the kitchen,
and mine from the living room.
I hear your laughter when you mess up cooking..
And suddenly you're everywhere, and I'm paralyzed.
I can't move you into boxes, and I can't leave you.
Yet I need to leave you within this walls..
Snake in the Grass…by Jessie 6/06
Be weary of where you put your feet
There's a snake hiding in the grass
Slithering in and out of holes
Waiting to attack
Although, unseen, his agenda sure
His plan set into motion
One false move, he will strike you
Without a trace of emotion
He has a way of getting close
Manipulating along the way
Just as you think all is safe
He’ll cut back the other way
Many are fearful, encountering the snake
It’s the position that he holds
Using it to paralyze
And make your blood run cold
But he’s just a snake, like any snake
A tail and a head
Separate the two of them
You’ll find that he is dead
Her trojans in my head
Even when she’s out the door
My body inside my bed
Outside, the rain starts to pour
I see her polka-dotted rain coat
And I long to call her phone
My fingers don’t do what they’re supposed to
Paralyzed by those **** trojans
All in my head, attaching to other nerves
My thoughts crowd around her
The image stark in my mind
She remains so fine and beautiful
But, all I want is to forget
Erase, delete all the regrets
Could I write
to **** out the poison
that paralyzes me?
I'm considering adding "and makes me feel ill" at the end. I can't decide which way I like it better.