Life is a game
To win is to lose
It's all one in the same
We like to think it's all our own
But it's really a chicken without a head
To win
To lose
Really, do we get to chose?

I have too much on my mind don't I?
Feel too much honesty too soon
Too soon for you?
Possibly
I apologise

I apologise my way through life, always
Its just how it always is
Has always been
But I won't apologise about my feelings for you
I can't
I won't

You make me feel this way
You must own that
I own it, I own my feelings now
I'm not afraid if people know
(about us)
But its not the right time
Just now
I know this

And that is what's so hard
Having to contain everything I feel
Just like a ball in the palm of my hands
I'm so afraid if I let go
I'll never get to hold it again
It will roll too far away
Out of reach

And Someone else will pick it up
Take it for their own
I'm not good with sharing
I don't want to share
Not you anyway

It's nice to be with friends,
And spend time with family.
But sometimes I like to be alone,
Just solely be with me.
I get to think things through,
And clear out my mind.
Take some time to be me,
And just try and unwind.
So don't feel bad or guilty,
When you want to be alone.
Everyone needs a little time,
To just be on their own.

you don't often know
that you've trodden through hell
until you're out of it
because
hell isn't always
burning or pain or agony
sometimes instead
it is love and lust and longing
it's not always
isolation or depression or winter
but instead
it's the touch of a lover
who means you harm,
the lies from the malicious
covered in sweet honey
most of the time
your hell is personal
and not a burning flame
rather
it's the devil
disguised as something
or someone
you love

You can say that I'm a little out of touch
I fell down but I can't climb back up
None of my friends give a ****
I guess I'm **** out of luck.

If I'm not feeling blue I dont feel much
I know they'll tell me to **** it up
Moving on is just hard as ****
I'm tired of being down on my luck.

Its like holding in the clutch
I press the gas but just rev up
Going nowhere fast my motor is ******
I blew a gasket, yeah just my luck.

I hope I won't always need a crutch
I need motivation to just wake up
Get me a drink until I don't give a ****
I guess I've been making my own bad luck.

I want to believe in my
OWN truth
The many times I've come
Through on my own
Did what needed to be done
Without being told how

By using my own intuition
I was brought here with
To forge a place around
my Own tree of life
My surrender
My sovereign
My light

And the best thing is there are others
In my life that show up and stay
From time to time
To wake me up into this
To help me grow
Into the Meet me

First of all those
Who see that best me rise
And to compliment
Not control
Who endure through
Not who back down

Who drown inside themselves
To get to this unconditional love
Which they Know
From lives thousand
Before them

To make this time
Ours to shine in
And do more than
Just march on
But to EVOLVE
To become a
Revolution in their own

Tipping point reached, one final breath
Let the waves of inertia crash, contaminate

....

Alone in complexity, machinery, and everything
Perfectly formed human being
Slowly turning sour by the minute

Stale air, only growing in its bitter taste as
Seconds that feel like hours, add to feel like years
All the plans i made
All the plans i planned to make
Gone, but not forgotten

But then they were gone
Truer statement never read then
What i read on the back of the final bit found
Within my reach
Filtered through a layer of sediment
settled over my vision
Sanitized as life had been

But my shelter having been breached
To seep much longer...

Too accustomed, but it doesn't help

Found lacking in the company I had hoped to keep

A poor atonement, sinking further

Or, it kept rising

I was nearly covered.

.....

They stepped a little closer
And left appalled by what they found
Rotting in the dark, silently

Defensive at the outset, shaking at the sound
Sounding incomplete

Face down this
Eventual ending
For me

You shoot through my body like you have
some right to be here,
Like you aren't disrupting anything.
I was fine without you.
And now I'm doubting myself and rethinking
everything.
You dug your way back into to my mind like it's
always been yours.
I had just learned how to breathe
without you,
And now I'm waiting around for you like
you own me;

You don't though.