you laughed in my face
and blamed ME
for your problems
and i took it
and i tried
and i CRIED
and i brought the olive branch
to every family gathering
and i kept the tea
from ******* spilling
and i was never enough
and now
i see
and oh
i hate you
and your lies
and i burned the ******* olive branch
and i upset the family tea
and *******
i am enough
you vile, insensitive
horrifically, detestable
gremlin

i write tragedies
not sonnets
i'm as dark
as the night
my soul
holds sadness
grunge
is my aesthetic
and cheery
is not in my vocabulary

every time
i think i'm over you
you smile
and i relapse.

the night my life changed
i was wearing
a white dress
with blue and red
flowers

and you were wearing
well, actually
it doesn't
matter

the night my life changed
it was dark
and you were drunk
and somehow
it was my fault

This happened before.
Your eyes. Your world.
Your lust. Your lies.
This happened before.
Your heart. Your hurt.
Your best. Your worst.
This happened before.
Your taste. Your scent.
Your loss. Your win.

One could say, I have a taste
for the familiar.
Grace, is still waiting alone,
for me to see my mistakes.

but

I see the shapes.
I see the forms.
I dip my toes in the destruction.
I fail, to be reborn.