You congratulate me
On every... tiny... victory
Like I am tiny, like I'm a baby
Whose cheerio bowl is emptied
On time with the finale of your meal
And cheered on when I'm not whiny
When fighting this or that ordeal
And like a parent to a child
You tell me that you're proud of me
As if YOU get the reward of pride
As though you built my profile
But through all your ignorance...
I smile
Entertained by anything shiny.

You don't give a glass of water
  To a drowning man
And you don't throw a thirsty man  
  Into the deep blue sea

Yet I drank deep of that glass
  Though my lungs were full of water
And thanked you for the refreshing swim
  As I gulped the briny down.

The chase continues forever
I know running is a burden
That you've seen your share of grief
I can empathize with the feeling
Of not knowing where home is
Or even... what "home" is
When the tears catch your pace
And everything feels lost
When misery creeps up on you
And you can't escape the haze
When the marathon has run it's course
And your down to your final breath
Find the strength to call to me
Find the will to follow me
And together, we will overcome
Our fingers interlaced
Nevermore to be displaced
We will walk away
No reason left to run

You went out of sight, you went out of mind,
You went out of sight, you went in my heart so blind.
The pain of your leave, I had revealed to none,
The pain of your leave, for you were my only one.

I hid the truths from myself, asked myself to comply,
I hid the truths from myself, but never confronted with a lie.
The mysteries I blocked, become one history,
and the history I spoke, was just another mystery.

You were all I had gained, you were all I had lost,
You were all I ever wanted, yet I compromised your cost.
And now the stars we had placed, twinkle every night,
They twinkle in this darkness, to show me your light.

I feel a bit strange, as if I have lost track of you,
I need your presence, I need it for those moments few.
For in your absence am I, just a grain of sand,
come save me from this oblivion, just lend me a hand.

You're everything I had gained, oh my memory,
Now stands your absence, in the way of my memory...
Now stands your absence in the way of my memory...

Desperation.
Inspiration, Determination.
What it takes to overcome
To do more than what your fathers done.
But always remember that when you succeed,
You left a mother in need
A brother to feed, a child that he didn’t plan for
Some firsts, seconds, and thirds that struggled with you

You can’t help them all
Most will see it as luck
Think you don’t give a ****
Because the media twists tales
And covers the truth up
Shows all the love at the top
How it all seems so ideal, like it just came out of nothing
Because it’s hard to dethrone a king once you’ve been conditioned to love him

Tell them while you were rising
You never forgot but you couldn’t stop fighting
Ask them, did Frederick Douglass’s brother ever see freedom?
Did he hate him for circumstances or did he even get to see him?

My scars my relief
My alternative belief
Are not meant to
paint me as weak.
I struggle with words,
struggle to be heard
But talking about it
is never absurd.

My scars my relief
My alternative belief
Have made me consider
if life should be brief.
But I felt selfish
for making that wish,
So instead I continue
to try to exist.

My scars my relief
My alternative belief
Are reminders of a time
when I couldn't release.
I may have outgrown it
May never have shown it
But this is my lief
and I promise to own it.