You went out of sight, you went out of mind,
You went out of sight, you went in my heart so blind.
The pain of your leave, I had revealed to none,
The pain of your leave, for you were my only one.

I hid the truths from myself, asked myself to comply,
I hid the truths from myself, but never confronted with a lie.
The mysteries I blocked, become one history,
and the history I spoke, was just another mystery.

You were all I had gained, you were all I had lost,
You were all I ever wanted, yet I compromised your cost.
And now the stars we had placed, twinkle every night,
They twinkle in this darkness, to show me your light.

I feel a bit strange, as if I have lost track of you,
I need your presence, I need it for those moments few.
For in your absence am I, just a grain of sand,
come save me from this oblivion, just lend me a hand.

You're everything I had gained, oh my memory,
Now stands your absence, in the way of my memory...
Now stands your absence in the way of my memory...

Desperation.
Inspiration, Determination.
What it takes to overcome
To do more than what your fathers done.
But always remember that when you succeed,
You left a mother in need
A brother to feed, a child that he didn’t plan for
Some firsts, seconds, and thirds that struggled with you

You can’t help them all
Most will see it as luck
Think you don’t give a ****
Because the media twists tales
And covers the truth up
Shows all the love at the top
How it all seems so ideal, like it just came out of nothing
Because it’s hard to dethrone a king once you’ve been conditioned to love him

Tell them while you were rising
You never forgot but you couldn’t stop fighting
Ask them, did Frederick Douglass’s brother ever see freedom?
Did he hate him for circumstances or did he even get to see him?

My scars my relief
My alternative belief
Are not meant to
paint me as weak.
I struggle with words,
struggle to be heard
But talking about it
is never absurd.

My scars my relief
My alternative belief
Have made me consider
if life should be brief.
But I felt selfish
for making that wish,
So instead I continue
to try to exist.

My scars my relief
My alternative belief
Are reminders of a time
when I couldn't release.
I may have outgrown it
May never have shown it
But this is my lief
and I promise to own it.

I think of going away (sometimes)

Can I think we all been there?

Deep in our thoughts & feels,
Lost down a lonely road,
Confused of direction,
Sentimental with nature,
Filled with want & need
Pained with, well everything.


I go but will always come back

From ___  to reality.

In a box in a garage
with all the dusty forgotten somethings
that we don't want
but cant throw
there was that photo
and it takes me straight back
****** through a vortex
its been 12 years
and I am broken all over again
every step that I made
every breath that I took
erased

following a creature through the forest
I've been chasing that rabbit for 12 years
following, trusting
she climbs higher and higher
dont look back
we are so far from there
dont look down
and we are never going back
if I can keep up
I know she can lead me somewhere
get me out of here
with leaps and bounces
she jumps off rocks and over rivers
she doesn't stop
she never stops

so I follow
sometimes i forget to follow
I look back at the path
and if you're not careful where you take stock
its not safe to stay here
you're coming up around the bend
and this ledge is narrow
12 years of climbing
and I slipped right back to the bottom
that rabbit she waits
she never looses me
I loose her
but I haven't
she sits and she waits
its hard for her to wait
she hates to wait

She found me in the darkness
In that black hole by the side of the highway
with palm trees overhead
4 o'clock in the afternoon
100ks an hour
I walked that overpass
and I thought about jumping over
or stepping out
I fell down that hole
cavernous and pitch black
all but for that white rabbit
looking at me
waiting for me
we climbed out of there
she lead me out of there
and I've been following that rabbit ever since
still as white as ever

Does it ever get better
I dont know
keep running.

When it's rough,
times are tough,
you keep on going,
no matter who,
no matter what,
that stands in your way,
you don't complain,
you push through,
you persevere,
you win.