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Jule Aug 1
Can that be a feeling?
I don’t know
it’s not happy but its also not sad
It’s almost like nothing
I do see spurts of happiness
but also see spurts of sadness
So I guess I’m defining it as neutral
And being stuck in neutral
is also kind of like a car
You sometimes drift little forward
You sometimes drift a little backwards.
But most of the time
you stay in the same place
Empire  Jun 6
Still Good
Empire Jun 6
I was a lawful good
Boring, obsessive
But still good

I started leaning away
Let go of the rules
I became neutral good
I’d bend or break the order
But in the end
I’m still good

Maybe I’m even pushing
Into chaotic good
And maybe I’m okay with it
I like it
And overall
My heart is
Still good

So when you say
I’m not myself
You mean I’ve dropped the structure
Released my grip on order
And that’s what I needed
Maybe I’ll bend it a little far
Maybe create a bit of chaos
But that’s okay
I’m still me
I’m still good
Of course I’m different because of the meds
What did you expect?
Hadiy Syakir Jan 5
it depends.

it depends
on how you look at it.

the anger that
branches in you are meaningless.

the frustration that
rests deep in you is meaningless.

the desperation that
is trapped in you is meaningless.

all of it might poison
you, but you, you are still you.

you are still here,
out there, existing and surviving.

it does not matter
why or how you are breathing.

because you are
just a future ground zero.

and you are still around
pondering over the possibilities.

and performing
at this grandest stage ever
is the proudest achievement
of your life.
Andrew  Nov 2017
Andrew Nov 2017
You're an inspirational exciting jolt
Like an invitational lightning bolt
I'm suddenly shocked by the results
When I am blocked by your revolt

You have my beating heart in your hand
Holding me hostage where I silently stand
Staring at your ****** butcher's cleaver
That morphs me into a landlocked ******

You're a two-hander
Like a sledgehammer
Or a radar jammer
I start to stutter and stammer
When I see your weekly planner
And the lack of my presence
Because I'm incessant
You hold a pencil and an eraser
You delete when I become a tracer
And start to draw a better replacer

You hold the scales of justice
Though I claim you're unfit
You say add that to the list
From the throne where you sit
And there's no avenue for any recourse
When your other hand holds so much force
I must deal with your actions
So I can stay in your faction
For my heart's attraction

I am never right
So we never fight
And we never might
Understand each other
When we're taking cover
From exposing vulnerability
An exploding soul is filling me
Because the cold mist killing steam
Between us until you are only a dream
And my mind starts bursting at the seams
Until there's a monster barely mentally caged
But the bars shake when it is constantly enraged
When your saccharine emotions are cynically staged
My bustling brain will unfortunately always be plagued
By your neutral reactions which I'll never be able to gauge

You hold two hands behind your back
Will it be an attack?
Our two hands should meet
Instead I'm trampled by feet
stuck in the middle
too far from each side
to be a part of either

but they don't understand me
because i'm not a blind believer

i like to know
the whole story before i go
and become a preacher

need to learn my own place
before i try to act like
everyone's teacher

cause i tend to be neutral
two wrongs can never
make a right

i agree with some parts
but nothing is ever
completely justfied

don't fault me for
making up my
own mind

i have my views
but that doesn't mean
i have to pick a side

tired of being pulled apart
by trying to please
both parties

neither of you accept me
not even partly

enough to use in an argument
but am i enough for you

hate you both
for ignoring what i say and
taking baseless digs to harm me

i think too much
for you to just disregard
what i say

i still hear you out
when you send me

trying to see all perspectives
even when they challenge
what i consider safe

i am just being fair as i can
it's only my opinion
so why the overwhelming hate
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