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I.
HATE.
CHANGE.

change you
change me
change us
it changes everyone

change here
change now
change time
change place
it changes everything

Just ******* change it all
I don't ******* care
It's just everything
I've ever known

No matter what I do
it always comes
and changes
changes
changes

i
hate
   goodbyes
  and
  i
hate
  change
Not today, but in the future
I have to stop.
Stare at myself
and slap myself awake.
I've done it before
now it's time to do it again.

this doesn't have to be
as bad as i make it seem

What's the point
of making myself miserable?
People are like Pokemon
and I'm the trainer.
This time it's my story
being played by 7.8 billion people

Unfortunately,
I appear to have broken
a max repel in my backpack
and everyone keeps
leaving, fleeing or disappearing

I guess I'll catch the few
that stick around anyways
*This poem has been claimed by Nintendo for copyright*
*We're sorry for any inconvenience"
I realized tonight
that you'll never
be able to understand.

Numbers and statistics
don't always equate
to what I'm feeling.

and it's not because
you're ignorant
and it's not because
I'm smarter

We're just clever differently.

logic can't explain
the feeling of connectedness
beyond mere feeling accepted

No this is different.

This is the part of me
who can't be religious because
there's no proof
At War
with the part of me that truly believes
that magic is real just because
I've been drawn to it

Perhaps magic is real
but exists beyond logic.

Everything is connected.
I'm sorry Lovely,

but I don't think you'll
ever understand
and I don't think I'll
ever be able to explain
"Mommy I have a question,
can we go outside?"

Under the cover of the cafe doorway
sun blared at our faces
wind knotted our hair.
I looked up at you
and in the eye
You looked down at me
noting the concern on my brow.
I asked,

"Are you and daddy going to breakup?"

Your answer then was something like,
"No honey! Not at all. Not for a very long time...
don't worry."

You smiled then
and at the time I never realized
how forced it might have been.

I guess perhaps
my memory is clouded
after 12 years come and gone.

I'm 20 now, and
much like you I'm older.
I think it's fair to say
it shows on both of us.

---------------------------------------

Today you sat me at the kitchen table.
We had just finished celebrating,
your new job. A new page in your life.
With our favorite unhealthy meal.

And dad is off on a business trip
after half a year unemployed.

That was when you broke it to me,
I couldn't read your face.

"I wanted to tell you before,
but you were having so much fun.
I recently told your dad,
I don't think I want to be married anymore."
Guys, I honestly don't know how to handle this.
He knows I'm a poet
Not just because I told him
but in my cadence.

Conversations through a screen
I've seen your pictures but not your face
and you mine.
But we talk like old friends
and you make me genuinely laugh.
It's more then puffs of exhaled air
actual sounds.

"you have a way of speaking I like"
he said
"I'm crazy interested in something you wrote"
he said
"oh no"
I said
"It's not my best"
I said
"best or not "
he said and I blushed

A man who cares
Is all I've ever wanted
Man this is an old draft I finally revised! It's been a while ^.^
Oh what a wonderful thing
to not only hear each other
but understand

~ My wonderful, beautiful and lovely boyfriend
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