You are too old with not enough experience

Its hopeless to dream.
I find everyday that passes...
That statement bares more truth than dreaming about hopeless fantasies.

Maybe I grew up?
One could only gather.
Maybe I stopped giving a ****?
One could only ponder.
Or maybe it was the ice berg of truth that pierced through me...
Ripping my seams of dreams and love and my very naive fantasies to pieces.
One could only imagine.

Or maybe it was when..
You woke up one day...
And realized..
No one will ever love you as much as you love them.
People rarely if ever change...
Some people can't see their path of destruction... It will always be your fault...
They can never genuinely admit their wrong.
And they'll never come back
And lastly..
You accept..
Love is the scariest thing in this world and some people aren't capable of loving you as much as you love them or deserve.. No matter how much of yourself you were willing to give...
And that's just the way it is.

I said sorry over one hundred million times for being upset you hurt me
I kept being naive and letting you proceed to cause damage
Yet, you never said sorry for the damage, and you never apologized for the hurt
I learned to forgive you even though you never expressed the need or want to be forgiven
I learned to accept an apology that I never received and never ever will receive
There has got to be so much strength in that.

get rid of those friends,
they’ll only hurt you.

stop letting others walk over you,
be mean, but only to a few.

don’t hurt yourself please.
don’t take those pills either.

save up and treat yourself.
buy enough books to fill a shelf.

don’t lose yourself to another world.
keep it real, you don’t need a shield.

one more thing, my younger self.
it will get better soon, i promise.