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Cerasium Apr 2020
The sorrow
The tears
The constant cries for help
All ignored and brushed away

I’m broken
Beat down by my own mind
Been that way for years
And yet my cries are never heard

I’m pushed away
Tossed around like garbage
No one really wants me around
And who can blame them anyway

My heart aches badly
But I know I can’t fix it
My mind screams loudly
Though I can’t silence it

The end of days is soon upon me
With no help how can one be expected
To continue this miserable existence
When all they get is ignored

I’m a burden on everyone I meet
I don’t deserve to live
Though I try so hard to voice my needs
It always ends in a fight

I no longer have a reason
A reason to exist
My heart is failing fast
I don’t know how much longer I have left

The one person I wanted to help me
The one person I cared about the most
The one person in which I love
Shoved me away to die

With heart shattered
And mind destroyed
I no longer have a reason
To continue this fight

No matter how hard I beg
No matter how hard I try
I can never fix this
Heaven knows I want too

My love runs so deep
That it hurts inside
My heart starts to burn
As pain runs through my chest

I have lost everything
There is nothing left for me here
No joy, happiness or love
Only sorrow and pain

So I wish you the best
Though I always have
For you to live
For the both of us

Cause even though
You ripped out my heart
And stomped it into the ground
I still love you to death

My soul shall remain by your side
For all eternity my love
For you were the only happiness
That I ever had
japheth Mar 2020
was hurting me —
leaving me for good,
enough for you?

did the skin of my former past self
that you demanded me to remove too early
enough to use as a bandage
for that someone who hurt you before me?

were my tears enough
to wash away your so called “sins”
and redeem yourself
from your self inflicted misery?

i know i was never enough for you.

that was the first thing i realized
when i saw the change of color in your eyes:
from dilated pupils to stares that were dry.
how could you say so much when all i heard was your sigh.

was hurting myself —
when i know you’re existence was no good,
enough for me?
please subscribe to my tinyletter if you haven’t!

it’s basically free form essays and dear you’s.

tinyletter.com/japh
Geoffrey Adams Mar 2020
Poison.
Poison is all that's on my mind.
I could go out in edgy flair
By the point of a dagger
Or, I could disappear by poison.
Free myself from this cage with cyanide
A sleepy, seamless death.
No marks
No pain
Just true freedom.
No more drugs pumping through my body to stall while death is lurking
Maybe then
I could finally be released of the pain I hold in my chest
The pain of a thousand wishes and hopes orphaned
Crushed
I'll never be worthwhile.
I know that.
May this last vision
To some so vile
Be carried out for once in my life.
Kayla universe Mar 2020
I wanted to write  about something happy.

I wanted to write about love, but realized nobody wants to hear that.

To write about someone else.
How they walk, how they talk and  how you talk about them way too much.

“It’s all too mundane,” everyone  would say.


Yesterday night, I slept by your side and that’s all I needed that the time.

To wrapped in your arms.

“Mundane!” They would say.

Yesterday morning, I heard your voice on the other end of the line and that’s all I needed at the time.

Last week, I didn’t want to leave your house. I wanted to stay there on your couch watching tv till I heard God speak himself

Until I heard his voice on the other end of the line which will be never so really, last week, I wanted to stay with you forever  , but nobody wants to hear that.

“Still too mundane!” They would all say.

A few nights ago, your sister told me, “our father didn’t start hitting women until he was twenty so you’ve got time.”    

A few nights ago you told me you were going to propose.  

Today, I was lying in my bed wondering to myself in my head if I wanted to spend the rest of my life someone who might hit me.

“Maybe he wouldn’t.” I said.

But maybe he would.

“Now were getting somewhere.”

Maybe it would be on our first night of marriage or maybe our 40th.

We would get into some petty little argument and it would just happen faster then I could snap my fingers.

Yesterday night, I slept by your side and that’s all I needed that the time.

“Mundane!” they would say.

You wrapped me in your arms so tight, I started to lose my sight. I couldn’t breath, but for a second, I felt relieved.

“Now we’re getting somewhere.”

I remember one day you said to me, “ I would never hit you.” And that’s all I needed at time.

I wanted to write about something happy. I wanted write about love, but realized nobody wants to hear that.


To write about someone else. How they walk. How they talk. How they talk about their father and wishes him dead, how they snap in an instant, how they break things and don’t know how it fix them!

“Now we’re getting somewhere .”
I wrote this poem about a relationship I was in last year. I’m so happy I had the courage to leave and wanted to share what it was like with anyone who reads. ❤️❤️
Cerasium Mar 2020
Take this glue
And seal my heart
Fix the cracks
Which are leaking black

Save my soul
From rotting away
This pain is becoming
Unbearably real

My love is too strong
To just vanish like you want
It’s like a fire burning
Threatening to turn into ash

Place your hand
Upon my heart
And feel the blaze
That still remains

Growing stronger
With each passing day
I beg my heart
To stop this display

But to my dismay
It doesn’t listen
It does what it wants
Even if it causes pain

I beg and I plead
For this agony to end
For my suffering to stop
But it will never come

I try to distract myself
Distract my heart and mind
Put them on something else
Anything at all

But you always seem
To come crawling in
Setting my heart ablaze
And my mind turns dark

My love for you
Won’t stop growing
No matter how hard I try
My mind can’t stop it

The heart wants what the heart wants
Or at least that’s how the saying goes
But right now it feels like all it wants
Is to destroy itself through endless suffering

With just a simple flutter of a thought
My day could turn from the happiest I’ve had
To the darkest in which I dread
Begging for the end of time

Oh how I miss our talks
I miss waking up to you
I miss you holding me as I fall asleep
Feeling safe from the night terrors that creep

I miss the way you smiled
When you looked my way
The way you joked around
To cheer me up on a rainy day

I miss the comfort you gave me
The laughs we shared
The embraces that kept me warm inside
Warning the darkness to step aside

But now I’m alone
There is no safety
I’m terrified to sleep
And even more so to wake

This feeling inside me
Grows stronger and stronger
I don’t know how much more I can take
Before this life is pushed to the end

When I get excited
I instinctively turn my head
Thinking you are still by my side
But then I see there’s no one there

I stare at the empty spot on my bed
The one that you use to fill
And tears start to fall
As I lose all self control

The tears that burn so much
Like acid drops on my skin
The tightness of my chest
The aching in my heart

I end up in a ball
Crying out to the Gods of old
Pleading for mercy
From this cruel fate

Pleading with all my heart
For just one more chance
To make it right
In exchange for my soul
Cerasium Mar 2020
People keep saying
That things will get better
But with each passing day
Things just keep getting worse

The darkness grows more black
Swallowing up all the light
Pushing me ever deeper
Down this pit of despair

Try as I might
I can’t seem to fight back
I keep losing the battle
Falling deeper and deeper

I keep getting told
That I shouldn’t be with him
That it’s best that he left me
That I’m better without him

But the longer this goes on
The harder it is for me to see
The light that will come out of this
And it’s slowly killing me

My chest won’t stop aching
Yet it’s been months
I feel like I’m dying
Over and over

I don’t know what to do
Every time I try to move forward
I’m pushed backwards
To thoughts of us

It feels like my heart will fail
From this ever growing pain
That’s deep in my soul
Begging for him to return

If only my mind wasn’t shattered
If only I did things differently
If only she didn’t come into his life
Them maybe things would be different

Maybe I would still be with him
Maybe I wouldn’t be in so much pain
From losing the one I love the most
But I fear my time is almost up

I grow weaker with each passing day
My migraines are getting worse
And the pain in my chest grows rapid
I fear I will never get him back

I fear that I will die before that can happen
That my life will end very soon
Because what most people don’t know
Is that a broken heart can be fatal
I don’t know how much longer I can fight my heart conditions..
Isabella Rose Mar 2020
I am drifting away,
But in the hopes
That the water will take away the redness in my my eyes
As I lay underneath
Questioning my life
And the pain
That coats my soul every day
Will drown beneath misery;
that was only choking on silent broken bottles
And all the the thoughts
Of cutting my bones
And all of the problems in my life
Will fade
When the final bonds on earth
Are broken
When we drown underneath
The water
Thulani Khumalo Mar 2020
They say how you start a race is how you finish it
Maybe that's why my life is like this
Started of in tears, a blood chilling scream
Covered in filth and maybe even ****
Hips cracked and flesh tore
When I was birthed my race started ofd in pain
Maybe that's why pain clung to me like a bad rash
Cry so I can close my eyes the same way I cried to open them
I sleep and wake up more exhausted
From the torn flesh to a life torn apart
I'm torn apart inside
I light it up till my eyes ******
And turn my nose to Mt Everest to escape
All I ever do is find myself high on the worst low I can be
Ego tripping and mind glitching
Jhene said "baby I was born tired, getting more tired"
I'm tired too gotta keep moving
But I'm tired of being tired
I'm boxing a tough opponent
Round 10 life been getting all his jabs in
I'm all cried out but I can't tap out
So I wait cause my body new but my soul got arthritis
Think this soul thing is broken
OK maybe not broken  but mine ain't working right no more
So go on one more jab is all I need
Put your body into one more jab
I hope you can knock me the **** out
Sometimes pain is all we know
Euphrosyne Mar 2020
Your name
Just like a board game,
We make moves
Just like the youths.

We dance until we both get the chance
And I'll deliver my romance,
I'll stand like a knight
And you stand there like a princess.

I call you by your name and your
Beautiful face pops up,
And suddenly the heaven and earth shifts and brings me to you close up,
Can't you see? These flowers bloom?
Because it means you and I are not doomed

Lets dance
To get the chance
I don't want our romance
All end up in a trance
Because every glance
I lose my stance
And you help me so we can enhance

This unique dance
Always makes me memorize
Your name and our memories
Just like a treasury
I'd hide you from treachery

Your name
I will claim
From a big game
And tell you that we are the same,
The same in love.

I love the name of you,
You made myself a poet
That our story will be spoken
by my poems
That it makes more golden
With the presence of your name.
It means imagination, it's just a thought of being in love in a unique way.
Cerasium Mar 2020
My mask is completely shattered now
I can no longer hide my emotions
I can no longer hide my true feelings
My life has turned upside down

There is no one who can help anymore
I’ve become so broken
That I am now beyond repair
Though I won’t stop you from trying

The mask I use to hide behind
Was cracked and splintered
But I could still hide behind it
But these past few months have shattered it

My life turned into turmoil
Causing misery so great
My soul is beginning to rot
My mind ground into fine dust

My heart aches with every beat
My nights filled with terror and tears
My days filled with loneliness and despair
My dreams turn to vile memories of the past

I lay curled up in a ball
Upon my bed
With my cat trying to comfort
This poor destroyed soul

I question my existence
Asking why I am even alive
When all I attract
Is pain unto myself

This is no way to live
But I no longer have the strength
To mask my true self
Or climb out of this hell by myself

And the one who held my hand
The one who kept me from falling
The one who was able to shine
A light in this eternal darkness

The one who could pull me out
And free me from this misery
Has abandoned me
Or so it feels like it

The darkness turns violent
And I turn down a self destructive path
I continuously ask myself
Why must I be alone

Why must I lose
Everything I hold dear
Why must I be left
To fend for myself

To be without
A shining light
To help me find my way out
Of the ever growing darkness

Maybe I have cursed myself
To never be happy
To only know despair
And lose everything that I love

So I cry myself to sleep
Wishing things would change
Wishing that my light had stayed
So I wouldn’t be so alone

Begging the Gods
To bring my light back
So that I may be able
To survive just one more day
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