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Grey Dec 2019
The shadows creep into the corners of my vision
Cave in and surround me
as I let out a silent scream,
a final plea for the help I know I will never receive.
I bury myself in blankets,
lose myself in words,
dull my mind with glowing screens.
And yet, the darkness still draws near.

As my puffy eyes fall closed for the first time
in so, so long...
My mind slows and calms, the barriers falling
the guards leaving at the end of their shift
before the horrors arrive.

It's not long before I can feel the snake
slithering into my slightly parted lips
And sliding down my throat.
Red-rimmed eyes shoot open
and my gaping mouth chokes for air
as it smirks, eyes glittering with pleasure.
The monsters twist around my gut
nibble at my heart
lick their lips with delight
and eye their new victim's soul with desire.

They gently caress my stomach with their claws
leaving red gashes oozing with blood.
And just as I think I've found relief
in your worried blue eyes,
the puppeteers twist my face into a smile.
I feel myself nod and say, "Yes, I'm all good"
as I beg for somebody to hear me,
to stop this pain.

I'm answered with the infiltrators,
now massacring my happy thoughts
and filling my brain with fears.

"Useless"
"Failure"
"They never liked you anyway"
"They wish you were dead"
"Just leave already"
"Leave"
"Leave"
"Leave"

A chant,
a mantra
buzzing at the back of my mind
like a song on replay
always on the radio, no matter
how many times you switch the station.

Thoughts are spiralling
Kicking up the dirt
covering the casket
already set in the ground for me.

And on the tombstone,
"Death by a merciless enemy --
anxiety."
Grey Dec 2019
I ordered a heart
but it came two sizes too small.
I ordered a soul
but it shrunk in the wash.
I ordered a body
but it didn't fit right.
I ordered a life
but it wasn't trendy anymore.
I ordered some love
but I guess it hasn't arrived yet.
Grey Dec 2019
My breath leaves in white swirls
Mixing with the icy blue air
Wavering, disconfiguring
Then fading away.
Happy almost winter! It's getting colder. :)
Grey Dec 2019
Swirls of red and gold
Stretching across the world.
Filling the planet with pale greens and deep indigos,
You are the flower on a desert plain.
You are the sun on a cloudy day,
The rainbow after rain.
You are what makes this world beautiful,
The artistic touch painting the earth with marvels beyond compare.

Artists strive to harness your beauty,
Musicians sing of your grace.
The indescribable image you paint,
Of a baby blue sky and lush green grass.
Day after day, people gaze in admiration
Finding joy in your very presence when they can find it
Nowhere else.

You are the light in a dark cave,
The path through an infinite plane.
The finishing touches of a painting,
The smile on a child’s face,
The laces on a shoe.
Something so important we’d be lost without it
Yet so subtle most look past it.

Bleak skies, barren terrain.
Without you, everything is boring; the same.
How would we symbolize love, glory, shame, danger?
How would we see the edges of each object with such sharpness?
Without you, we would all be at a loss,
Living in a bleary, stark world.
jamiah Nov 2019
i wake up sweating
i dreamt about some abstract concept i can't remember
the blaring of my alarm tone startles my sub-conscience

do i have to get up ?

the white lights are blinding even behind my eyelids
god, it ******* hurts.
i already feel the many gazes watching me from-- wherever
exposed.

the padding around me has no meaning
like a bird in a cage i am just decoration
hell-- one day i might start singing
humming mindlessly what they expect of me
another song, another, another.

i'm here for a cure for wellness.
they try to poison me with their words and their lies
they try to break my mind
my body
they try to break me.

and soon,
iwillbreak
*title/general concept taken from the 2016 movie A Cure For Wellness
jamiah Nov 2019
a legend.
i was nothing but a legend
i am a window tinted with uncertainties,
a bedtime story falling unto deaf ears,
the invisible ink that dried up a week after your ninth birthday

a ghost hidden under blunt-cut bangs,
i left the day it was decided i wasn't enough because
i left a bad taste in your mouth

rainbows are just an illusion and
no one believes in fairy tales
-- No one speaks to the dead.

and so,
the rooms go overturned,
the ceramic shatters against the floor,
the fable coming to a disastrous ******

there YOU stand
in the eye of the storm
in the belly of the beast
you. see. ghosts.

-- Suddenly, I draw in my first true breath in years.
Michael McD Oct 2019
Before present, I use to feel like morning dew;

Calm and Central, Controlled and Stable.
Yet, no amount of calm could stop the great fall.
And fell it did; yes, slipping downwards.

Full hands becoming empty, numbers start decreasing, sleep lessening.
Adhesion could not save the dew, it kept slipping.

Now at the edge; oh, that amassed abyss reflecting.

Only fingertips hold on now; only adhesion holds on now.
Eileen H Oct 2019
the dressing room mirror is scratched
but i still see
i still color
i am blue between the seams
these cut off my circulation
they are sizes too small for an ocean like me
they are tempting
my body and i mourn for one another
my body and i mourn like storms
mother to my flesh
i am a failed mother
my body is too young
for the things i’ve seen
is out of form
we are oceans fighting oceans
spilling into one another
my body and i love like
we are waves
we are breaking
and moving          stones
pettyvandalism Oct 2019
Tears speak more than words ever could
So when you think
“Why am I crying”
You are speaking
Through emotions that are unspoken
So maybe you should
Cry like black ink
Falling off a white feather
Standing out because the deformity of your eyes
Distracts locals
Because it's such a familiar feeling
And they envy it
Don't worry if you cry to much
The tears that sting your cheek
it helps you know your still alive
Until your not and your still crying
Then maybe those locals could say
“you cry to much”
- pettyvandalism
Jaxey Sep 2019
Sin
"I love you"
You say
As you lift up my chin
But you're eyes shine with metaphors
And your hand feels like sin
Stop lying to me
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