your love is both
the shining altar
and the smoldering
gates of hell,
i dance between
like a woman possessed
unsure if you will save me
or devour me whole.

like a drug,
i just can't get enough
the side effects are
this numbness.
the pain of looking
your addiction in the eyes and
being reminded of how
you first died.
but there's no more
a reason to relapse,
no more season for sobriety:
so I stare at
my human addiction
in the eyes,
hoping he's also
the remedy.

shevaun stonem

when you left
I searched every object in my room
because maybe one of them
still contains your smell.

Locks of charcoal black
Sleek and smooth
like the mountain peaks
when covered with fresh snow
thick with stories of winter
my hands find warmth
running through

Hands ice cold
hold the chills
of the winter season
in his fingertips

As they glide
Down my skin caressing my curves
leaving a trail of goosebumps
one for every cold snowflake kiss

Rough and dry
his breath blows the summer heat
Off my belly
Where it used to settle
and nestle
tanning for hours
now leave my body
every time
he exhales
while he’s on top

Suddenly, it feels like winter
moments freeze
time stops
nature wears white
seducing him away from me

He’s waiting by the window
And I beside him
“It’s cold outside love” I said
He turned to me
exhaled a sigh of relief
“It’s the best kind, my darling” he said

the silence between us
deafens me
yet even in the darkness
all i know
is that there is a beating
behind these weary bones
singing just for you.

To my only lover
I’d like you to know
That all those I times
I made myself hurt
I did it because of you

To my only lover
Despite your asking
Despite my lies
I did it because of you
I’d like you to know

To my only lover
The pain I felt
Didn’t feel like pain anymore
But it still hurt my heart
I’d like you to know that

To my only lover
I don’t regret it
I feel not a single drop
Of remorse
For what I’ve done to myself
I’d like you to know
It was all because of you

We sit across
each other over
cups of coffee-
like we don’t know
the exact order.
like you don’t know
my favorite movie.
like I don’t know
the last time you cried.
like we don’t know
the unseen.
like we don’t know
we never truly died.

like we don’t know | shevaun stonem