I’m driving and your playlist is on,
The one that always makes me think of you.
Usually I’d sing along,
But tonight I’m too broken to.
Six years gone and I still feel
Like I’m cheating if I try to move on.

I've been going through the motions,
Trying to convince myself that I'll be fine.
But when someone new starts getting close,
I pull back every single time.
Their voice sounds wrong, their laugh's too loud,
Nothing feels the way it should.
Maybe I should just give up,

Stop pretending someone else could fit.
Not that I’m waiting for you—
I just can’t imagine settling for ****.
Every time I meet someone new,
I hold them up against what we had.
And nothing ever comes close,
So maybe being alone isn’t that bad

I used to think that higher meant escape,
That feeling weightless was the only way.
I’d chase whatever helped me lose my shape,
Until the night consumed another day.

I thought each fix would find the joy I’d long forgotten,
But clarity would hit — so sharp and sudden.

Chasing every high will have you
digging at rock bottom.

I saw you at the coffee shop today
Standing where we used to meet
You looked right through me in that certain way
Like I was just another face on the street

And for a second I wanted to wave
Say something about how I’ve been
But then I realized what I had to save
Was the stranger I’ve become within

You knew me when I’d text you back too fast
When I’d save every song you’d play
The version of me that thought we’d last
Who’d wait around for you all day

But that person couldn’t make it through
So I taught him how to disappear
Learned to sleep when no one’s calling you
And stopped expecting you to reappear

Now I drink different coffee, take new streets
Wear clothes you’ve never seen before
The person standing here who never speaks
Is someone you don’t recognize anymore

I never went all in
Just stuck to the small stakes
Kept my bad habits running
Even when I felt destroyed
Like a car running without brakes
I don’t know if its only you or a selected few
Maybe some of the **** I didn’t see through
And
I don’t know if I lacked compassion for all of my partners,
Or everyone I ever knew
But I feel stuck when I’m awake
Running when I’m asleep
The hill I need to climb to get back to myself
Feels way too steep
And while I’m waiting for the final break
Maybe I’m already in too deep
I feel addicted to heartache
Because I can’t let go of this heartbreak
Please just fall asleep

I lie in my poems,
Where I speak to you
and cry—
The only truth
that matters:
I

..lie in my poems,
Where conversations never fill
the silence,
yet time stands
Still.

I lie in my poems,
Where we fit like a glove,
Pretending you know
What I’d do for your
Love.

I lie in my poems,
Where these words
Read as a clue,
Addressing my love to
You.

Everywhere I see beauty, I see it in fragments of you.
A smile or a sunset, you’re always the clue.

You went out to see life on your own,
To find the person I never could have known.
Did the roads you walked feel like home,
Or just another place you passed alone?

Did the mornings give you what you dreamed,
The freedom, memories and time you needed?
When the world was quiet, did you glance behind,
Or is it just me that doesn’t fully heal with time?

Did you become the person you chased to be,
And find the places you left to see?
Did it give you everything you longed before?
What came of it, I’ll never know for sure.

Hard to love, easy to miss,
A moment of bliss ruined the warmth of your kiss.
If I had one wish, you’d be only mine,
But the sting of your cracked lips cuts deeper each time.

I’ve seen how fast
A life can pass
Yet I’m too tired for life’s dance
Too worried about the egos
of the worlds cast
And too stressed to pick up the trash of my own little worlds past

Forgot I was driving, lost inside the flow,
Rain blurs the glass, lights painting below.
At the red, yellow, green — a pulse of panic,
Everyone’s moving straight, part of traffic.

But straight ahead I drift, a part of what I know,
Eyes on the road, following where others go.
Then in a blink — caught between fear and dare,
I slip the wheel left, cutting through the air.

Heart pounding loud, beating in new ways.
No signs to guide, no one to chase.
Just an unknown road, a new path to race.