He accuses me of lying
Even though im being honest
He said he sent me a text
And did i not response
But i assure him
I never recieved anything
And he says "yeah right"
It hurts me to know
That i could swear on everything
And im still a liar
I wish for once he would believe me
But of course that will never happen
I hate the fact that im always being blame
For things i have never made
Im tired of being in this position
Always being accuse of lying

Lungs flatten out
Like burnt pancakes.
And the fault of that is;
I'm not made of glass.
And no one
Knows I'm suffocating.

3/11/16

I felt invisible today
How I dance around words and refuse to inch towards my door
How words fall onto my lap, only to be wiped away by my shaking hands

I felt lonely today
How best friends make pinky swears and how all I can keep safe is the gold cross on my neck
I pray to him and ask, God, let me love again

I felt.. Sad;
The kind of sadness that rolls over in bed ever so often
But will never leave
The one that despite my tugging at the feet
Only sinks even deeper into my being

But most of all
I felt nothing
I didn't feel the breeze as I tiptoed my way into being what my Mother calls 'normal'
Or the hot water I envied, how amazing it would be
To simply
Just
Evaporate.

It's unbelievable finding someone so similar to you
that you can almost feel your essence in them
it's rare; but the moment they touch your soul
through their words,
the way they smile- acknowledging you alone,
how the sound of your name
the most beautiful symphony sliding off of their lips
that unique and unspoken feeling of
knowing that somewhere –
someone,
amidst a hundred people,
has a single thought of you
that thought becomes almost within your reach
close enough to grasp
if you extend your arms at the exact moment
but that's the struggle isn't it?
that perfect moment; so invisible, so absent.

- F.S

it is a bit past 3 AM and i am waiting for you to see me.
see me, see me.

you told me to write you a poem so here it is.

i am invisible and i am waiting for you to see me.
i cannot make myself seen, i cannot make you look.
so i wait. i wait, for it is all i can do and i cannot live with the feeling of doing
nothing.
powerlessness, in its all its bitter comfort, cradles me like an old friend.

a reconnection.

right now i am putting on the record we both like and i am pretending that you and i are the only ones who have ever heard it.
in a brighter moment i might sing.
in a brighter moment you might see me.

but for now, invisible,
i dance. my feet kiss the floor and my fingers kiss these keys and i am writing you the poem you wanted and waiting, waiting, always waiting.

you may not see me but i will write as if you do.

(a.m.)

I wish you well
My dear old friend
My green-backed flame
Set along the clouds.

You lie beyond the night
When the people have all
Fallen asleep in their cots
Doomed to awaken
To a gilded sky that brews
With unseen grace
Not invisible because eyes
Cannot track it
But invisible because gazes
Are melded with the grass.

if she was gone
would you go looking for her?
if she disappeared
would you search the thin air?
if you never saw her body again
would you still remember how it felt
within your hands
until you are dead?

Usually

Invisibility is something you see

On a TV

Ironically

But the truth of the matter

Is that if you look at her

Sitting there quietly

Just watching society

Carry on with it's creation

Not joining the conversation

You may notice

You need to refocus

To make visible

*Those things that are not