i send my apologies to the one inside

my person, who limitlessly produce words
Stringing it into stories

i got distracted by fear and void

destroying authentic creative

I am having a crisis,
But there's no need to response,
Since I've always been like this
So what else can go wrong?

Being under psychosis,
But you won't notice that
Can't tell you anything
Because you can't handle facts

I know it's a lot
It can be a lot to swallow
But feel my hurt today
To give us better tomorrows

I know it's uncertain
The future becomes unclear
So stop ignoring all the things
That fill your heart with fear

I know, you're a human,
I know, it makes you scared,
Seeing all the work you put into me
With an eye blink disappear

I know, you're human,
I know you are not prepared
But this is the way my life goes
It'll be better if for me you're here

I am having a crisis,
But you cannot respond,
We wonder why I'm like this
Why was I ever born?

Being under psychosis,
But you won't acknowledge
So I tell you somethings
Overreact, astonished

Calm down, there's nothing
There is nothing to fear
For you, I'll change my perceptions
It's alright, I don't need prescriptions

I know it's set in stone
The future's always your way
So I should stop making up all these things
For the fun of it, for play

I know, you're a human,
I know, it makes you scared,
Seeing all the work you put into me
With an eye blink disappear

Because you're human,
I exist to be your slave
Your word is how I should go
Since you say so, I should behave

Eyes
reflect love and laughter, create a window for the world to view a beautiful soul, perceive so much light, see the vivid brightness of everything around
          but what I choose to focus on is how they barely function without corrective lenses, the color of the iris is too bland, and they allow too many tears to fall.

Hands
sweep away tears softly, give love the opportunity to be tangible, rest upon a friend's back to support, sweep across the ivory to make emotions audible
          but what I choose to focus on is how they shake when in social situations, the lack of length in the fingers, and the obvious absence of another hand to hold.

Legs
support my whole structure, provide transportation for adventures, serve as a resting place for his weary head, function each day without conscious effort
          but what I choose to focus on is how angry red stretch marks line the skin, the way my fat calves get stuck in jeans, when they fail to endure the miles to run.

Usually

Invisibility is something you see

On a TV

Ironically

But the truth of the matter

Is that if you look at her

Sitting there quietly

Just watching society

Carry on with it's creation

Not joining the conversation

You may notice

You need to refocus

To make visible

*Those things that are not

I am disgusted with myself
For inexplicably catching feelings
For someone I would never
Logically fall so hard for.
I must have left my heart open
And vulnerable and I'm sorry.
I hereby demand you leave my heart,
This is your eviction notice,
You have twenty four hours
To pack up and go and don't forget
To leave the key behind.

Please.

I'm begging.

This makes so little sense,
It is utterly maddening.
How could this happen to me?