I have hair dye all over my face, and yet haven’t been able to recognize myself in months.
It all hurts, knowing that what you felt was supposed to be forever got derailed somewhere along the line.
You aren’t mine, but I’ve been holding on desperately hoping that you’d come back to me.
That first month, the year and a half that followed.
I guess I believed you when you said you weren’t going to date anyone anytime soon.
8 months isn’t soon, but it’s pouring salt in wounds that haven’t healed.
That wide **** over an excessively bleeding heart.
Hopeless.
Romantic.
But never with you.
Hopeless.
You gave everyone else so much more than you gave me.
Hopeless.
I don’t know how to come back from this... pain.
This feeling that I was never enough through the unfolding of our lives.
But seeing you wrap your arms around someone else, when I craved physical affection from you and you couldn’t give it.
That’s the worst part.
The idea in which you can be happy without me.
And they keep getting younger.
Twenty six.
I guess I’m getting old, thirty in a few months.

How do I bring yourself back from months of heartache after you?
bur more importantly, how do I manage to still stay friends with you while you date someone else.

Will the hopeless romantic be anything less than hopeless?
And when will someone love and dedicate time to me?

Why are we still here?
Scratching and pulling at your skin
Trying to find the answers in your silent stares and unspoken phrases
I am tired of wrestling with it so I just push it aside
Hoping to hide the discontent I feel
And the anger bubbling up inside
Too tired to beg for it anymore
Too ignorant to understand
I am sitting in a waiting room while the clock laughs at me
Mocking my helpless state
Hopeless but still waiting
This is how I will always remain
Even when I am long gone
My bones scattered in that waiting room
Hopeless but still waiting