I never thought silence would be hard to bear...
There is nothing to say and nothing to hear...
I feel trapped by strings from an unknown source...
It strings me with little force...
From time to time I break free...
But it always has another way to grasp me...
I need to get used to all the new circumstances...
But I doubt my chances...
All I can do is smile and see...
The sad world all around me...

And I have been fighting,
I have been fighting since
I knew I had to fight.
Since I knew what it was.
I was fighting against the smoke
that blew its way
out of my brother's lungs
in the middle of the night
when he thought i was asleep.
I was fighting against my father's uncontrollable anger,
and hands that roamed my body
when I didn't want them to.
I was fighting against my friends darkness
and my own.
But I never once,
had to fight you.

will you still
love me
when you realize
i'm far from perfect

There is something blocking the light in front of me,
And creeping up behind me.
A shadow without a cast,
Seemingly moving by itself.
Killing the light fast enough,
For the darkness to catch up.

What drives us to take our lives?!
What turns the hand against the one it belongs to?
Something we resist wants to bring us down.
It is creeping up on you.

I am in love with the memory of who you were
It is as simple and as heartbreaking as that

Mind racing
Angry pacing
Not breathing
Inwardly seething

Chit, chat, chatter
I want to climb down the ladder

This constant game
My mind, I can’t tame

Bipolar express
Unbearable
I’m a mess

Constantly fearing
My chemicals veering
Down a different path
How long this time?

So high that I can’t come down
So low that I...

Bed.
Can’t get out.

H E A D

Can’t
                   get


              out.

It's only as tough as you make it
Do these words seem right or wrong
I've heard them spoken, almost all of my life
It's natural to think they belong

Let's take the word tough, and define it
What exactly does it mean to you
The meanings it has are many
As an adjective: it's tough to cut or chew

As a noun: your cruel and brutal
And learned to fight in the streets
It also means you might have some pain
And that fabric can take on some beats

So you see it's only what you make it
It's all a point of view
Be ready and willing to take it on
Just remember it is hard to chew....

Brian Hill - 2019 # 183

My lov\ly..
yo//
     • – • •
• •
                       \
           to m\?
do yo//  n\\d a h\lp ?
     ..com\..
                          i will not
     • – • •
• •
                       \
                      to yo//
lik\
           • • • •
• •
                   – –
now, why yo// still hiding from m\ ??
                      im not  
• • • •
      • •
                   – – !!!!!
                            lik\ (r\st//) did to yo//!!
             \V\N  I   N\V\R
                        H//RT   YO//
...but will yo//...
                        FORGIV\ M\???
            i know it's hard to say.
                           but do\sn't m\an yo// can't
lik\ yo// r\ad this, and lik\ i

                    ...FORGIV\ YO//...