Can any one please tell me why I feel like I was put on this earth to be treated any kind of way by people,friends,family, and boyfriends in a (bad way) even doe I know God put me on this earth to do something great but do you know what I'm talking about or know how I feel? If not I'm glade you don't (it's not a great feeling) but this feeling and pain is killing me minute bye minute it's taking my breathe away, can you please tell why I feel like this please oh oh oh oh can you feel my pain? Ooooh yea I just want to run away but I don't know we're to but can you tell me how I still keep going,
Still love,
Still treat people right like how I want to be treated and
Still tell them to keep going
Even doe other people treated me wrong and they don't care about me or how I feel
How do I do it? Cause I don't even know but
I  got to shake it off and keep moving on no matter what even thru the pain and the hurt shake,shake,shake,shake it off i got to do what's best for me
Why why why why?
Ummmm please tell me my heart is crying out but no one even notices.

I guess you'll never know that I
stole glances at you
while you were sleeping next to me

How I thought you looked nice
when you were viewed from the side,
only half of your face seen
and wondered what you looked like
if you were facing me

you'll never know that I thought
you had a nice forehead
that went well with your man bun

and how that small silver earring you have
on your right ear sealed it off

I wanted to talk to you but I don't know whether
I should say sorry
for falling asleep on your shoulders

or thank you
for sharing with me your warmth
in that cold bus

**

She always seemed to be going somewhere,
She was always up to something,
But never told anyone what.
She had friends, but they were few,
She was always up to something,
But not even they knew.
She never stayed in one place long,
She was always up to something,
It was only a matter of time before she was gone.
Onto her next journey; her next voyage,
She was always up to something,
But no one could have seen this coming.
Right when everyone expects her to leave, she doesnt,
She was always up to something,
But she never left then.
She waited and waited until they would least expect it,
She was always up to something,
She wanted no trace to be left.
But she was always up to something,
Planning her escape,
And with that,
She vanished...

Hell is known by everyone
Whether you believe in it or not
It's always a compare and contrast
And even though it's just a simple thought
The ideal is there
That if we do something terrible
Like ******, lie or sin in any way
That it leaves something memorable
Like a stain on white cloth
The sin clouds our mind
Consuming our thoughts and bodies
Until theres not much left to find
Except for devastation and agony
Like living isn't hard enough
Without thinking that every mistake
Requires more than just being tough
Where we have to be forgiven
By Grace, by God, and yet others still look down
On us for simple plunders
Like it was our choice to take the frown
It's not our fault we were blinded
It's not our fault that we couldn't think clearly
Can you blame us for being angry?
Everythings shouting at us so severely
Why aren't we better?
Why aren't we stronger?
Why aren't we smarter?
Why can't we just hold out longer?
Everyone thinks depression is so **** easy
"Oh, just think happier thoughts, it'll be fine!"
Tell that to a man so consumed with self loathing
That he'd rather sit alone and cry than dine
With those he loves. It's atrocious
How easily we all fall into the simple glove
That is how useless we are in the grand scheme of things
That we don't deserve love
Or anything at all, really.
And one day everyone we know will walk away
Show that they truly hate us and always have
And finally just ran out of reasons to stay
It pains me.
It pains me every single night
To sit here and think that maybe
I'll be worth more one day, and shed a light
To all those who are hurt or hurting
But how can I save someone
If I can't even save myself?
I'm afraid one day I'll be done.
Finished, over.
But. Even as these thoughts plague me
It's not over today. No way, no how
And I'll keep going, until one day, I see.

Here's to summers in the sand
All our best laid plans
That we never could see through
Here's to loving me and
Knowing you and

Days
Lost now in the haze
Romanticized by memory
Not truly you
Not really me, just

Time
That we have left behind
A time I never will forget
A time of love, and yet
A time I can't return to
That's not me
That isn't you, we've

Changed
Love faded away
Worse or better, whose to know
New things come as old ones go
I guess we'll see
So here's to you and
Here's to me

I say goodbye,
And I know you already forgotten about me.

Because you know prettier girls,
Than I could ever be.

And I keep going back to you,
Like the fruit on a poisonous tree.

I am here all alone in this empty place

I want to go further, leave this place behind

This is not where I want to be

But something is keeping me here

I am attached to strings

Strings painfully attached at my back

Right where my wings should have been

Pulling me back down

Keeping me from flying

Giving me nothing but pain

As I cannot move without getting hurt

They will not let me escape the tragedy of this cruel world

I have nowhere to go, but here, I know, I cannot stay

Yet I cannot go

And this strings do not only tear my back apart

But also my heart

Don't die before your actual death.