upon awakening
from the abyss
of my darkest dreams
I did my best
to stifle my inner screams...

Inside my heart there lives a snake
Maliciously it slithers around
It's poisoned fangs poised to bite
In fright I don't utter a sound

In my garden I left a rake
Lying littered on the ground
Around it the leaves dance chaos
Workers never to be found

All this destruction life likes to make
It's swirling confusion does astound
Until my heart and home it wrecks
And burns both of them to the ground

She is trapped
Inside the walls
Of his words
Lost and confused

Terrified tongue tied
Screaming within
Constantly running
Around him...

the pain isn't hard to bare.
until you forget that it resides in the very back part of your brain,
waiting to be released at the perfect moment.

the slightest touch of a male,
a kiss on the cheek, neck, thigh.
the kiss of uncertainty and disloyalty.

the memories begin to fill you up inside.
your lover doesn't know what he's done.
you slip away from him faster than the air slipped from your lungs the first time.

pulsating through your veins,
is the feeling of deep fear.
what if he comes back?
what if he wants more of you?

oh, dear god he's thinking of all the ways to torture you.
look at his eyes. his mouth and the way it curves into a malicious smile.
the vigorous breathing, representing the oxygen he's stolen from you.

the tears are rolling now.
right down your right cheek where he caressed your beauty the first time.
right where you never wanted to be touched again.

it's only ever hard to bare,
when the perfect moment arises.

Hush little baby
Stop crying now
Mama’s well trained
I will show you how.
Lock your feelings up inside
Don’t let them out until you’ve died.

Stop little baby
Don’t you feel!
Keep your soul
In a heart of steel.
Promise Mama that you won’t.
Love breaks everyone’s heart if you don’t.

Sleep little baby
That does the trick
Crying all day
Can make you sick.
Nobody like a kid who cries
No one will come to sing you lullabies.

Good little baby
Never says a word.
Quietest baby
I have ever heard.
No one would ever guess
That inside you are a mental mess.

Hush little baby
Stop crying now
Mama’s well trained
I will show you how.
Lock your feelings up inside
Don’t let them out until you’ve died.

Yeah, I'm seeing these bags underneath my eyes
but don't worry they aren't leaving me blind
I'm just so tired of the sleepless nights
because you're stuck on my mind
and I'm feeling frightened,
I wish you were near
but you're not here
you're anywhere

You're at an anywhere
that's so far away from me,
it's unclear.

I am frightened
Of bumps that sound in the night
I am frightened
Of fighting my next fight
I am frightened
Of giving my own space to share
I am frightened
That one day no one will be there
I am frightened
When phone rings its vice like tune
I am frightened
When my turn has come too soon
I am frightened
Of swaying at dizzying heights  
I am frightened
Of telling my parents goodnight
I am frightened
Of what I'd do for another's embrace
I am frightened
Of sharing someone else's  space
I am frightened
Of things that may never come true
I am frightened
Of the possibility that they do
I am frightened
Of thoughts that are carved in my skin
I am frightened
Of truths that ring through them
I am frightened
Of hate that I swim like the sea
I am frightened
For it's aimed not at you,  but me
I am frightened
That one day I may conquer that hate
I am frightened
That "one day"  may be too late
I am frightened.....

               I am frightened.