I began not to feel
That is why I stopped writing
I began to not care
I forgot what love was
I forgot what it meant to be depressed
I just felt a pit of nothing
Is this what it truly means to live.
To feel nothing.

I need to cry, but I forgot how
I need to scream, but no one will hear me
I need to feel, but I am numb
What a I to do now?
I’m in so much pain,
Yet I can do nothing to relieve it
I’m so tired i cannot sleep
I’m so hungry I cannot eat
I’m so depressed I don’t know what happiness is anymore
I just need to FEEL
But I don’t know how to do that anymore
People constantly ask how I feel
I always reply fine
When honestly
I’m tired
Numb
And sacred.
Not because of others, but of myself.
One of these days I’ll end up cracking and falling apart
Maybe when that day comes,
I’ll be able to feel again

Do you play the piano,
As my hands start sinking low
I need a melody now
Because the keys I don’t know.

I woke up in the nighttime,
To thoughts I wish not to speak
And I wonder possibly
If you can provide to me
Some sort of relief.

I need a tonic,
A strong base note clear.
Loud please.
My ears are weak here.

I don’t want a major,
Or a minor chord chime.
I don’t need your sympathy
A symphony would be fine

Can you play me that melody
To the words I’ve forgotten
You know, “Dum dee da?”
No… This happens often.

Well, just play it.
What? No, whatever you want.
STOP.
I’ll do it, I’ve had enough.

Do I play the piano?
Years ago, I guess I did.
But my hands don’t know the keys
So I close the keyboard lid.

Do you play the piano?
I ask myself again.
Years…
I stopped when?

When you think you are holding onto
the last shred of yourself,
don’t spend it on the
words that have been long lost in the air,
on the gazes that the eyes have long forgot.
Keep it safe for yourself.
You have lost bigger things than love
and you have still lived well.
And a broken heart is something
that everyone needs in life.

I was in corner
Collecting dust
Waiting for you
Loyal to you

Until awareness
Consumed me.
I saw,
You didn’t even want me.

So I left.
I took my first,
Full,
Breath.

Since the attic
Of which
You left me
And forgot me.

“HOW DO YOU FORGET?”
How do you forget all the laughs we had, all the mistakes we made?
You FORGOT that when you met that cute guy and you knew his brother would be perfect for me.

“HOW COULD YOU FORGET?”
And when the ONE person you want to call, when your back is against the wall, and you’re blocked.
***** to be you.

“WHY DID YOU FORGET?”
WHY do you HATE me so much?
All I TRIED to be was a good friend,
but you THREW me aside like you would an old rag!
The illusions in my mind say,
that you’ll be beggin’ on your knees for me to come back,
but that’s all it is, a ILLUSION.

“HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT ME?”
WHY? Why does it have to be like this,
I thought our friendship could’ve worked?
But I was wrong, right?

You NEVER cared, not one bit, about me and you never will! WHY did I even think you did?
You really KNOW how to make someone WISH
they could forget, but no matter how hard they try, they just CAN’T.

So here’s my FINAL goodbye,
I hope you enjoy the life you have WITHOUT me!
So GOODBYE my dear “FRIEND”!

Bye-bye