Hi.
You might not know me
But for real
I don't even blame you
I gave up long ago
on sharing who I was
while hiding
who I am

Hi.
I seem a stranger
good and bad
and all the in-between
It wasn't so pretty
or easy, or real, or "fine"
but I am
OK now.

Hi.
I was an addict.
drugs of choice?
Elusive approval
Associated shame
Stolen identity
Yes, I was
just a fraud.

Hi.
Here I am broken.
you scold me
and then I lose myself
a scapegoat to be razed
to be a throwaway
But I raised
my self up.

Hi.
I’m a mosaic
Living art
I'm pieces of past lives
And though I was scattered
I am collected now
I made this
this beauty

Hi.

Dear Expectations,

I have given up on believing in you. It seems that for years and years and so many more years to come. You have constantly sent out more pain than you have happiness. You give a sense of hope that doesn't equal someones reality. You portray this false imagination. You try to allow myself and others to believe that if we set certain standards and place things/people on a pedestal... That we will achieve you. Why is it that even after constant let down we allow you back into our lives? why do we still wait for you? expect you? hope and wish for you? set you so high...
To expect is to assume
to assume is to make a mockery out of yourself
I'd rather not.

I don't expect her to ever speak to me again
I don't expect those who've doubted me to suddenly believe
I don't expect my lost friends and family to suddenly be found
I don't expect immediate change
I don't expect the best outcomes to my hard work, right away.
I don't expect you to love me
I don't expect my father and I to ever have a relationship
I don't expect freedom in a life of chains
I don't expect anything, anymore

The only expecting I do now is the kind I can control

I expect myself to love who deserves to be loved
I expect myself  to be the best man I can be
I expect myself to try and change what is my flaws
I expect myself to be there always for my family and some friends
I expect myself to believe in me
I expect myself to try even if it's so much easier to quit
I expect myself to forgive...Even when I know they don't deserve it
I expect my self to live...even when life has killed all my faith
I expect myself to fight...even when I don't have much left
I expect myself to always remain honest to who I am

Expectations.

We place em on things that we have no control over...
on people who just may not be able to live up to our needs
we can't expect anything out of anyone or thing...
all we can do is expect what we want in ourselves.
Put out in life what we hope...but don't expect...to get back.

Change your mindset - Change your heart - Change your life

bodies' warmth as the sun heats up the sky.
we continue to move while we were burning
into the flames
once we thought was dangerous to play with.

I am not naive
I know how far
the stars are
away from me
wanting to see
I reach and beseech
to know
to love
to grow
to touch them
and hope I won't get burned
you think I would have learned
deprived of judgment
and reason
put out my singed wings,
cuz a silent voice can't sing
still scorching hot
white light,
I wonder not
I just couldn't fight
or save my sight
burning my retinas
with no surprise
I've taken flight
I cover up my eyes
with Rose Colored Glasses
taking off into the darkness
sightless, feeling empty
delving deeper
into the light
the night,
I follow you
everywhere ...
                     you
                            are.

      

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Every step you take your going somewhere
Every step you take back your losing something
Everytime you hug me I hug you back
Everywhere you go I follow you
Everywhere you stand I stand
Everywhere you've been I'm going
So where to next

You will never please everyone
The brutal truth you refuse to face
Each morning in the mirror
You are bound to fail
And chase your own tail
We are only humans
And fall at the fault
Of our own grounds
Expectations are an
Ill disease developed in faith
And is sent through the veins
By the army of love
We are all victims

Just tell me where you have to go
Baby, I will follow you home
You can grip the wheel
Do your own thing
Baby, I will follow you home
Bass heavy
Let the vibes flow
You've been drinking
I know
I can follow you home
You don't have to let me inside
I just gotta be sure you're alright
Keep away from the blue lights
Playing it cool so we don't fight
I can keep my distance
Let you think this through
Finish your drink, I'll pay
I just want you to fall asleep okay
Don't you stress the deep talks
I wont bring it up now
Fingers in your tangled locks
I know you're not proud
I can follow you home

It seems like blessings keep falling in my lap...

I make poems for free, more so really on freedom.
Obstacles and demons surround me, Somehow I beat em.
Inspired by Chance, so I'm taking every chance like a rapper, moving through the chapters while doing my praising dance.

I started from the bottom.
Now I'm here, not the top.
Clothing brand, book and album, all ready to drop.
Jesus loves.
Jesus saves.
While we're stuck in our ways.
Let's all catch the wave, pray, hope and smile for better days.

Basically training but I've graduated.
Like the last kid getting picked, but I participated.
Patiently waited, for elevators, now I'm taking the stairs.
With every step I'm growing up that's why I cut my hair.

I'll give him praise, all the way til I'm gone.
Hopefully before deceasing, the family is on.
We'll eat good.
Thanksgiving, yet it's misunderstood.
Blessings on blessings forever, falling down like they should.

Running under shades
Frightened of the names
You carry, them blindly
They'll judge by your face

When did you touch
Another's heart?
Screaming to love me!
I'll be there soon

Tracing the footprints
And finding your way out
Don't know where they lead you
A dungeon or heaven