I’m still broken in pieces.
Down to the sole.
I scream alone and know the neighbors here it.
I know the whole world can feel it.
As I sit and I wait for the code,
I cry wit gun and say I need you.
At least next to me.
Right now you’re the only proof that love’s got me.
I need the gate code;
So I can feel you.
Right now you’re the only proof that love’s got me.
They say that love don’t cost a thing, but it’s not free.
Charge it to the game because you bankrupted me.
As I have thoughts and ideas of what could be on the other side of the gate, I realize no matter what it’s my fate.
The age of 25 I grew fonder of self love.
Neglecting myself had me lost on what was above.
Lack of my peers over years applying pressure.
My mind’s on autopilot, that’s the closest I’ll get to a Tesla.
My self denial and selfish trials put bolts in me.
All this love,
Is this girl playing a joke on me?
Truly my deepest darkest fear is I lose it all.
Breaking me down where I thought I was all along
I can’t even express with my words, maybe a song
Maybe everything that I needed I had all along.
Everyone’s testing my patience.
Lately, can’t see what’s troubling me.
Part of it’s mental
Part is emotionally
Maybe just some pure love that I need.
Unfortunately I had to bleed to believe.
That’s why my hearts on my sleeve.
Suffer from hate.
Suffer from lost.
Brutality from the police.
I had to run and reflect on some things that’s putting a burden on me.
Life going fast as a 10 speed
And I can’t breathe
I can’t leave
And I can’t run
Surrounding myself with just 4 walls
They tell you to spread peace and love in prosperity
But if I hit the ground then I’m gon fall
With no pick up
This a stick up
For the ****** that’s coming to take all the money
If I bet a dollar for everything that you was raised
You couldn’t take none of it from me.
Or maybe you could.
Just like America
Destroying my mental
Create a criteria
Then you compare us
1200 dollars just last me a week.
We wanna conquer, but hard to defeat
Protesting ain’t hurt enough or a speech.
If I goto the corner store, give every black man a dollar that’s homeless would that even teach.
They lie thru their teeth, so I gotta preach
You calling it anger and screeching, that **** is a reach.
Everyone’s at the top.
Won’t look beneath.
Until I got murdered cold blood in the street.
All I know,
In these obstacles hitting like dominos.
Really grew up with fiends.
Now a gun in my jeans.
If I make a play, it’s no audibles.
Asking her what she’s calling for.
I studied your heart but couldn’t make honor roll.
The world makes me feel I’m jail.
I’m trying to prevail.
On Tasha, I want it all.
Desmond ask about Armani while he talk to my father in jail calls.
I’m still surviving.
Aramaic but I never had a twin until i ran into Thompson.
Many men in my comments but really where is my conscious?
Because my mental really gentle,
peace at mind when I see the horizon.
I’m fighting some demons and nonsense.
What are you ducking me off for?
Why’d they **** Ronny, and what they **** Rod for?
Those times had my heart torn.
Always said I was fine,
I’m lying; my mental is outworn.
Writing rhymes til my arm sore.
When I perform, everyone just wants an encore.
I’ve forever been standing out.
Seen my first guns playing at my cousin house.
You can’t put me on a T-shirt unless it’s music or a check involved.
My homie had a good job,
Problems got involved and said he’s into scamming now.
Now I can’t give a person nothing.
A sample’s the only thing given out.
We been cool since like fifteen but money got them looking at me different now.
Run the maze to get your problems solved.
Put in work, and it will dissolve.
I couldn’t wait, they were taking long.
I’m in the studio with an apron on.
Parking lot pimping with my pumas on.
This pen in my hand is a quiet storm.
Now I change trajectory with these bombs.
This from the heart.
I know that you’ll take it wrong.
I done been robbed of my joy,
How can I not make a sad song.
Retirement is what my mental’s on.
When my mental’s on I make the best songs.
My poetry’s more like my outcomes.
The fall off hurts but I came along.
I had to learn to love myself.
Learn to like my voice,
learn to be so comfortable with my own development.
I can’t create if I have no motivation.
Or someone else persuasion.
I have to breathe.
I look to the sky for the answers beyond me.
The ways that I am are the demons that haunt me.
Misty feelings over shower these days.
I’ve been hiding my face, I can’t seem to retrace my steps in the mud because of fog.
But still proud of myself and all of the things that we’ve changed.
You put my heart in a rage.
Lately feelings have changed.
Us together has never existed.
I just ask on this one day you give me permission.
But you can’t play the field when you’re stuck on the sideline.
Lately I’ve just been over things.
Mood and weather controlling things.
Hardly can stand the rain either.
All my poems expose my ways.
Hope we’re growing for better days.
I lost the love of my life and every friend so I had to pray now you mean everything to me.
You change the climate.
Your mountains, I climbed.
Our problems I write it.
Everything’s in private.
Even Drake said it, this **** means everything to me.
Now I don’t know where we stand, I use to hit you about everything.
What’s a real man to a cave man?
Tell me what’s love to a love child?
Running from pain that will last while, through this stormy weather I can hardly smile.
Type your address into maps with purpose.
Apprehensive and it makes me nervous.
I don’t know what else do after this, it’s my last poem, I guess I don’t deserve it.
I’m out for revenge.
I want the crown.
I’m down for the breach.
I got receipts.
I want my peace and I want some equity.
I’m working on trust and changing trajectory.
I’m not going to change.
I wanted a name.
I wanted the brand.
I studied the game.
I need a pen.
I need a pad.
I have to get a lot out of my brain.
I never had fame.
I don’t want clout.
I distance myself.
No one was reaching out.
I want the smoke.
I got the juice.
The more that eat, the more that I seek.
Stuck in the muse.
I want to be Drake.
I want to be Cole.
I want to be Dash.
I want to be Hov.
I want to be Meek.
I want to be him.
I want to be you.
I want to be me.
I wanted to live.
I wanted to ****.
I want to forgive.
I want to be chill.
But I don’t know how.
The more that I lie, the more that I save.
The more I protect, the more I neglect.
I’m harder to keep.
It’s harder to sleep.
It’s harder to breathe.
I’m out for respect.
I had a disconnect with my friends.
They’re choosing sides.
I wanted to ride.
I wanted to slide.
I’m looking for God.
I’m flirting with death.
I threw away pride.
I’m changing my mind.
I’m guiding my steps.
I’m practicing patience with so many reps.
Now I got a plan.
It’s forming a tree.
Covered in blood, it’s all on the leaves.