They'll come only to my tomb
Only in the time of needs,
They only know my existence
Only when they feel so empty.

They'll just visit my grave
Only when they are lonely,
They only know my worth
Only when the world turns them in.

They will become my ally
Only when they can rely on me,
They will leave immediately
Only when sweets melts in bitternes.

Becareful from the people in front of you,
They are nice but secretly hiding a poison behind.
Beware of the people in your back,
They might push you straight to the graveyard.

guests used to comment on
all of those picture frames
pinned proudly to the walls.

you would smile politely
and give them a tour.


“there’s my daughter
on her first birthday!”

“there’s my son building
a fort out of snow!”

“there’s our family
on vacation at the beach!”


you used to get so many
compliments on your
picture-perfect family.


I wonder what they
would have said if they
knew about the holes
punched into the wall
underneath those frames.

hello
do you remember me?
i'm the girl you dumped because she will leave
because she will leave the country after highschool
and you thought that wasn't cool

have your opinion, i don't care
but don't you dare come back to me and blame me for something that wasn't fair
it was more unfair to me
you knew from the very start my goal was to leave
to study abroad, psychology in madrid, barcelona or somewhere else in spain
so i don't have to share my pain

i hope she is good to you
whoever she is
does she give you all the bl*wjobs and *** you request?
does she agree to everything you make her do?
does she even leave her male friends to calm your trust issues?
does she love control?
does she plan to study in germany so your future is perfect?
does she do everything i couldn't do?

I enter to see perfect smiling faces by themselves, with others, with places and things
Here is shiny and there is new with an underlining endless hum of energy
Scrolling is breathing; I can only stop it for so long before I’m gasping
I find myself competing with the perpetual perfection;
Wondering how their waist is so small, their teeth so white and their life so golden
as I sit in the shadow of my own depression.

You must pray for the fickle and weak.
As we all need to make it through the heat.
Your whiskey neat burns down the branches of your chest as you speak.
Expand into a balloon, the crowd won’t bow but shake their heads.
They can not believe this tale you live, the life in a comfy castle cove.
The girls back home cry, denying all this fallacy.
Really it can not be like this, this isn’t reality.
This can not be like you or me.
We aren’t merely copies, are we?
They cry tears in the shape of rapids that carve rivers down your cheeks.
To take her to the moon will settle, remedy this pain.
So give me a few years and I’ll get you there.
For now pray for the fickle and weak as they aren’t lost, but free.

"You smile too much," they say
So I stop
"Why aren't you smiling?"
"You should smile."
I'm confused
Do I smile or do I not?

Tell me, and I'll do it
Whatever pleases you
I'll smile, even if it's see-through
Even if you know it's a lie
I'll smile, even if I want to cry

If you want me to stop, I will
Your wish I will fulfill
If my smile is annoying
I'll understand
I apologize if I seem bland

But I can't seem to make you happy
You're always so snappy
I come home and wish to leave
I try, and I try so hard
But all you do is disregard

So I'm sorry, I guess I'll try harder
I'll do as you want
I'll be who you want
Just please notice
If my smile is true or not

some people feel anxious a lot
some people feel overly tired all the time
some people have anger issues
some people enjoy life
some people are happy, or sad, or mad
but i am numb

when i wake up, i am numb
i stay in my room because i feel numb
i cry to try and feel something, anything
but i suddenly stop because feelings are exhausting

i hate going to school because my friends give me ****
i already get enough at home, i dont need it here too

its like everyone has their place in this school and im floating around groups
its hard to be happy when you work so hard to make everyone else happy
its hard to laugh when youre always making sure everyone else is laughing

they dont realize how easy it is to fake a smile
to tell a lie for the sake of their feelings
to act like you are just fine

they dont realize that when i look the happiest is when i feel the numbest

I sit upon my throne and stare
Looking at the empty hall with no care
Memories of cheers and excitement
And then I only had indictment
They blamed me for the faults that occurred
Traitors amongst my ranks who had it stirred
The price I have to pay for those I trust
Keep their words they must.
But no, they don’t. I see them running out
My Kingdom a Blaze and I’m with no doubt
And for whoever wants to be the king
Be prepared for what troubles those who say they’re loyal will bring