You…

with your eyes fixed on fire,
on skies that never blink.
You’ve memorized verses,
but forgotten how to think.

You search the wind for commands,
while hearts beat beside you,
unheard.
You shout the name of God
but miss Him in a stranger’s word.

Look down, brother.
No-“ - look around.
See the dust,
the children,
the cracks in the ground.
That’s where truth spills,
quiet as rain.
That’s where faith lives
not in thunder,
but in pain.

There’s no ladder to climb,
no sky to ascend.
The divine is not distant
He’s the hand of a friend.

So loosen your grip.
Unfold your fists.
The kingdom you seek
already exists.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.
In the darkest of times i feel i have felt your breath,
Whisper in my ear, as a lantern in the dark within me.

Im sure it was you who helped me stand each time i fell,
I felt your grip upon my shoulders lift me up countless times again.
At times i even stumbled in my faith but you reminded me with a glimpse of Hell,
You mopped my brow throughout lifes weary trying times akin to countless droplets of the rain.

When my strength and eager ounce of faith were tested,
It took me many years to spot the signs and wisdom taught.
In darker peril with soul and lesser mortal body staked and bested,
A noble sign or even angel would appear upon my humble path or court.

You have shown me bitter yet sweeter even knowledge only meant for end of days,
I have encountered, witnessed demons play and satans legions.
Are you preparing me for some other unworldly task? must i change my heathen ways,
To unbind and unshackle my costly vice and burdens prior carried throughout these vast unchartered regions.

I now begin to comprehend and understand the fortitude of your wisdom,
Taking root inside me and growing like a glowing ember in the dark.
To prepare my unworthy soul and being for when i gladly sit beside you in your kingdom,
At leave of day in night is it your distant pius holy voice i hark?.

For many years i wondered if i walked between these untrodden astral paths alone,
But looking back i now realise how foolish i could be.
Because it was you dear lord who always guided and walked me home,
As there were two sets of footprints side be side, or even one set when you surely carried me.

We eat, we sleep, and we pray.
But who do we pray to?
Is it the ones who promise us salvation
but only give us disease, darkness, and blood?
Or promises of hope, love, and flair?

We starve, we wake, and we sacrifice.
But who do we sacrifice for?
For the ones who only take, take, and take,
and give not even a dime in return?
But only death, darkness, and blood.

I look at the heavens and see light,
but not lights of hope or redemption,
only lights made to blind us and bind us—
to show us we are unworthy of them, of the divine,
to make us feel like envying them is a crime.

I search wide and far for a story without any bar,
a story where they were selfless and not so afar,
a story to help us dream and reach the sky—
not act as silent observers of the moonless sky.
But all I hear are hopeless cries of mine.

Who are they to decide what we are, what I am?
Who are they to decide my fate and worth?
Who even are they, when they haven't felt the pain of existence?
only seen the suffering from their lofty thrones afar?
All I see is cruelty and worthless promises, hearts as black as tar.

You drug me down in my despair,                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
you shamed me into staying there,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
made me feel that no one cared,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
I was a prisoner in the devil's lair                                                             ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                              
Every time I gathered up strength,                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                                  
 you assured me you were my friend                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
Went on & on to great lengths,                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
you loved me when others didn't                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                    
I'd given more than I really had                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                
held you whenever you were sad                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
but you never gave me anything back,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 
leaving me broken & in your grasp                                                            ­                                                                 ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
I was focused on that tiny light                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  that shone in my heart, so bright                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
I knew there was a better life                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                     
not with you but Jesus
Christ                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
I called out to God in Jesus's name,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                        
asked him to heal this heart of pain,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
to let me walk in the light
again,                                                           ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                          
allow peace of mind to begin                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
as I planned my
disentanglement                                                  ­                
                                                ­                                                               
 from life with you &
  punishment                                                    ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
for a power that was heaven
sent                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
and now I cherish life's every moment

To feel deeply in this world is to bleed slowly.
It is to walk through fire with bare feet
while others praise the virtue of numbness.

They say: Don’t love too much.
Don’t care too loudly.
Don’t be the one who stays when it’s easier to leave.

But I have never been able to touch halfway.
My love is ruinous.
I enter like a cathedral collapses—
all at once, with smoke and sacred noise.

I fall in love like it’s a calling,
like God Himself whispered their name into my ribs
and told me:
Here. This one. Burn for this one.

And I do.
Even when the world hands me a thousand reasons not to.
Even when it tells me connection is a game,
hearts are currency,
and tenderness is a flaw
to be corrected.

But I was not made for apathy.
I was not made for clever texts and ghosted evenings.
I was made for aching truth,
for eyes that don’t look away,
for conversations that scrape the soul clean.

I do not want half of anyone.
I want the whole,
even if it wounds me.

Because what is the point of living
if we are not willing to suffer
for something sacred?

They say:
You care too much.
As if it were a weakness.
As if they have not read the Psalms—
as if Christ did not sweat blood in the garden
out of love for a world
that would spit in His face.

There is glory in feeling it all.
Even when it rips you open.
Especially when it rips you open.

Let them scoff.
Let them sleepwalk through their half-lives.
I will keep loving like it matters.
Because it does.
And someone must remember.

The fire rises ominously,
transcending boundaries-
engulfing pieces of shredded
papers written lovingly.

When you've fallen & broken with tears in your eyes                                  
                                                                ­                                                       
      and no words can be spoken to make it all right                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
When you're on the floor, bent down on your knees,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                             
confident & assured you're right where you should be                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                             
When you beat yourself up just like you always do,                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                          
convincing yourself of that is what's killing you                                              
               ­                                                                 ­                                      
Get up, take a deep breath & stop all of this                                                
                                                                ­                                              
before you throw yourself down into the abyss                                  
                         ­                                                                 ­                       
   You can choose who it is that you want to be,                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                          
throw away all your fears & vanities                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                              
Don't invest in people who hold you down,                                              
             ­                                                                 ­                                    
the clock is not just a ticking sound                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
Act, change, before it is too **** late                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                           
  Reclaim your power, renew your faith                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                              
  You are the master of your own destiny,                                                         ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
rise up & shine, set yourself free