Never a day has passed

that my heart did not break
as our Sun hides behind Earth.

When the dawn wakes
lids separate, I stretch and yawn
Another shift sifting mirth from dearth
Holding together this disparate ache

Where too, shall my soul seek immortality?
It hath been found in work and people — 
Are they not noble pursuits?
But Death they found, surrendered, feeble.

Heaven called, why not try I?
So sought and found sweet streams.
Rested but for a while — 
Until consciousness awoke my dreams.

Did not Shakespeare claim the pen,
Is mightier than the sword?
Now keys replace ink,
But still, words cannot be ignored.

Words create our worlds,
What doth they saying of you?
Breath sweeps o’er the mountains
Worry not the truth is still true.

they took the light of your soul
and then put it out.
they said that it wasn't on purpose,
but you are the one
who's fading with every night,
the shadows are creeping inside,
it's harder to tell the time
when there's no sun in sight.

they said you don't have much to offer,
an empty vessel for their god.
they stole the light of your soul
just so they could put it out.

These emotions are powerful they surge right  through my chest
Chasing them around room they suddenly infest
First silent as they swirl between you and I
It doesn't take long for them to multiply
Soon they swarm every object we see
Easy to play victim instead of trying to agree
But there are zero casualties because we aren't at war
Blindness makes me wonder what we're doing this for
You think righteously but you couldn't be more wrong
Baseless accusations you build argument upon
Just the latest in series of false beliefs you create
Sick the way your perspective chooses to exaggerate
My veins get so hot blood begins to boil
Shieldless facing remarks insisting I'm not loyal
Onyx pupils boring holes my direction
Void between us growing as you describe each imperfection
Systematically pulling apart every sentence dared to speak
Pre-existing wounds deepening until blood starts to leak
Until becoming so quiet you could hear our hearts beating
Slowly breaking
Carefully retreating
Uneasiness creeping like a draft under the door
Whispering
"Things never will be as good as they were before"
These helpless doubts wander through skull all night
Impossible questions kept awake til morning's light
Until poor soul is weighed down by despair
Tears blur my vision
Uncertainty put into my stare
My worrying in vain because it doesn't change anything
Non-existent compassion in your movements and it stings
Apparently don't have enough empathy to spare
Tangle up sanity by showing how little you care
While absorbing tension permeating air like a sponge
Hopes now flattened on the floor where they plunged
Words discarded like empty cola cans
Insults echoing like clang of pots and pans
From head to toe happiness is now crushed
Cuts could heal if only our fingertips brushed
Delicate balance of respect instantly would be restored
Neck removed from guillotine if you'd lower your sword
I don't encourage tables to turn
Just want us to both sit down
Pull knives out each other's backs and erase each frown
I wish us both to wear matching expressions of joy
Our feelings reset to a setting where our opinions didn't annoy
But for that to happen a gigantic amount of willpower is required
Fear we are not soft enough for animosity to permanently retire
But honestly hate distance between skin more than I'll ever admit
The path our steps are walking on is one I refuse to quit
I'll pour more energy into every single action I do for you
Even wasted at least my intentions are true
I'll collect memories and box up special moments we had
Store somewhere deep within to bask in when I'm sad
This might be hard this second but I have faith it won't last long
We can solve problems because our love is pure and strong

Re political loyalties and honors…
we can disagree about many things,
and I will not **** you, can I say the same

of you, my cross paradigmed other
in the dialog of judgement, mine,
as the extensions discern my worth
as a redeemer of idle words and time
taken for granted and wasted on movies.
Excusing any reason ever used,
needs ratiocination indoctrination.

Faith called to reason, why idle words
force accountibility, yes, shall every man
wombed or un, give a book
of life level accounting
for each idle oath, or adjective
or unintended verb agency,
promised, cursed or blessed.

Reason, between two or more of us, each
brings reason, by now, each who can hold
these words as self evidence, each word holds

a bit of metadata marking our agreement,
mental, mind realm, spaceless timeless medium

thought fitting word
to pattern, instantly, no time
cognationally global
in 197 Wikioedian verses
save, we know, dendritic
tie ins take time to loop
signaling connection made,
- We are the World…
intention flux determind antes
loosed with pre thymus degeneration,
T-cells ready fitru robotic single mind will,
to seek and destroy danger to the mind filling

system
of systems considered nearly perfectly, clog
sidereal desires, in you, wither the kingdom is,

not may be, if y'good,
someday under sublime
alignment instrumentalities
prerequisites, pure yes, intention
seek, the principle thing, id est wisdom

at your core, as any man kind called sapien
2.0, consexual reproducing drive, curious
too complex to not put through rigorous
imaginative allied consanguine lymphocyte
testing at the molecular willingness to smash
the vase, the delicate vessle,
after life as a star,
as a player
at a cosmic level, a bit
in the fluff at a galactic edge, pop.

Yah, certainly, one can unbelieve

any law about God, as explained to children,
any law about believing being mind hats given,

may be reexamined, out from life lessoning,

looking back at how people are paid for teaching.

Reteach the proven useful reasons for the uses
of the faith instilled in Americans by age 20,

or so, it varies, there are young Sheldons,
statistically more of them in India than in Texas.

Similarly there are more good reasons than bad,
bad reasons are often good reasons used
to believe lies with, like the guardians
in Plato's version of Socrates, secret
necessary lie, gotta believe, yes, so
Republican, by definition, a kind of
guardians gotta believe God
chose each one, specially
to guard the temple secret
initiation ritual kinging
of exalted guardians, and
the elite who know the lie, risen
into the rank of Kings secret service guards

almost privy to the whole truth sworn,
to keep secret or suffer the consequence.

To choose the world is to drive reckless in the rain
On the highway speeding
Thinking yourself as invincible  
Incapable of pain

The faster you drive the harder you fight
Thinking by your abilities, and own will, you can gain control out of spite
Whole time nothing works as your speed only increases
Your arrogance blinding you, as is the rain
Not knowing that your actions will leave you in destruction, broken in pieces

Relief is found only in split second surges  
Driving under a bridge  
Then thrown back  
This is the only reward of acting on those ill rooted urges

So many of us are lost in this constant battle
When the reality is, it’s out of our control
All we can do is be still and trust
Through humbling ourselves God grants peace to our soul

Every passing moment,
feels like a whip on my back.
The future which is yet to come,
seems like a hike to the Calvary.  
The journey in this valley,
made my soul weary.
And, my heart is crying out,
longing for a sip, from the eternal well.

The Mystery
of You & Me
is that we see
things differently
but stop sometimes
considerably short
of misunderstanding
each other completely.

Wondrous, curious, in awe
Everything is new and exciting
Oh what it is like to have a faith
A faith without fighting

Questions on questions wanting to know more
The deeper they look, the more they long to explore
Lord please let this faith
Child like faith
Repeatedly be restored

Vulnerable and okay being so
Guard down, knowing my problems are not my own
For I have someone greater than I to fight my battles
And through every storm a hand to hold

Without a deeper thought help me to love, learn and obey
Lord my greatest ask is to forever restore my childlike faith

Every day I had to dig through
deeply rooted malignancies
and clusters of phosphorescent spider eggs and webs full of
dead flies draped throughout a
long-abandoned domain
once inhabited
                    by my mind.

the roots pushed and
twisted their way through
thick walls of the
foundations and membranes
of spirit, mind and body
where I didn't even know
how to feel, all I knew is
that I had crossed unseen
         no trespassing signs.

in life among the living
I lived as though I were dead.
in the midst of vast human knowledge I held
        vast emptiness instead.

this lack of substance was
all that was left in my mind.
I found myself trying to buy
back more of what I
had to
          leave behind.

my mind and spirit were in lockdown. in this death I
began to die. when I was
high I felt let down.
     in the truth I saw a lie.

the dawn of each new day
filled the sky with hues of a
darker light. since all of
the windows were barred
       and boarded-up

the only way I could see
glimpses of a brighter
light or others living life
were through any thin
little cracks I could find.

like an addict trying to
avoid their addiction,
each new day and every
waking hour I would find
myself learning what I was
        losing my mind
        trying to forget.

I was so sick and tired of
     d . . . always going down.
          o
        w
           n.

truth only strengthened
         this neurotic depression.

but in the throes of pain and breakdown I found hope in
a New Day. when I was lost
in the cycles of confusion
I at least found pieces of
peace and pieces of mind
        along the way.

when I die with the sun in
the midst of the evening
I now find enough faith
   to believe I will
            rise with it again.

when I seem to have lost
all of my chances, I clutch desperately to any strand
     of a chance to begin.

saving what's left of my mind.
buying what used to be mine.