Now don't get me wrong,
This whole time that I was trying to understand
What you wanted, I couldn't help but notice
That I can't make sense of it all along.
This and that, blind tales, you have my full
Undivided attention, filling my head with
Strange and odd promises, telling me that
Although it seems unreal, you could just
Let them all in. If I took your "sound" advice,
If I'm alone, I could sleep with people on the street,
Put all of my food and drink upon
The ground, drag food around, your obsession
That I should feel fine to just pick it up and eat,
To try to defy my "religious" obsession, always
Try to be the one in charge, look for opportunities
To go off and put away or slay the "baddies" at large,
Become the person of the hour, or a follower,
Get a job where I can sweep floors and wipe tables,
So that I'll really be excited for the first time doing
What I do for a living, even if I'm not really able.
Who cares if this life throws everything bad at me,
I'm ready to attack all of the things that hold me back,
Even go for the things that don't interest me, instead of
Letting them be! YES, I believe "everyone" should work,
Even if they are really lost, psychologically unwell,
Major transportation issues and other real
Problems, No matter what we've been through,
No matter the actual real life hell,
We were all brought into this world to be
JUST LIKE YOU as well!

Born in this world as a innocent cub
Born into a world of temptations and desires
I use to be so scared of rejection and chased perfection
I lost my vision of perfection when I was introduced to temptations
I have had countless dances with these temptations
They just made me feel so free from this pursuit of perfection
This chase has led me astray and introduced me to a world of gray

A world of gray filled with nothing but space and me
I have used every fiber in me to paint my world of gray
By drinking just to sleep when I didn't even believe in me
Running miles for people that wouldn't even get out of bed for me
Doing everything to fit in instead of trying to stand out
Pretending that everything is okay while I was internally bleeding
Giving people chances that didn't even deserve a second one
Having *** just to feel something

Now my world is no longer gray
Its turned into a beautiful shade of white
Ready for me to paint a masterpiece
Time to let this little light of mine shine
And get what is mine....

It chips away at me
Makes me hungry
Hungry to be successful
Hungry to be the best I can be
Hungry to be the center of attention
A hunger I can never satisfy
A hunger that eats away everything
It starves me when I'm content
It has burrowed deep inside me
I can't rid this being that consumes me
I can't drown it
I can't feed it
I can't see it
Because it's taken over every part that makes me me
There's no lonelier feeling

How can restriction be so freeing?
Constricted in nylon compression
Freedom in mind
Shallow breaths
But filled with smiles
With a skip in my step

The mix of life.
For most,
you don't get what you want without feeling anxious, nervous,
and excited.
These feelings
help make the achievement
of what you want
even sweeter.

I feel like I should be excited,
Or at the very least a bit sad,
My heart should be ignited,
My thoughts driving me mad.

Instead there's silence in my mind,
It's another ordinary day,
Though now I have new friends to find,
As we drive our car away.

They told me here my life would start,
Where experiences make us old,
Passions and people will shape my heart,
My story is waiting to be told.

Yet my story came long before,
It did not begin in hallowed halls,
And for some reason I thought it'd be more,
Instead of rising my heart falls.

Being love drunk... the feeling of you losing control, shaking and more shaking.
Losing all control, being aware of it, and begging for more. Smiling...but not just any smile..those goofy smiles they write about in novels.
Being love drunk...if things go your way, it would be purgatory, cleansing you from all those that had burne dyou before, cleansing way your scars without the salt but with the sky's stars. Your eyes will sparkle and you'll want to skip testing the waters with one foot - you'll want to dive, even if the consequence is death - at least you'll die happy.
If things don't go your way, your roses will still bloom, but you'll need to trim away the weeds, one tear at a time. One run by the ocean at a time.
One skip of "our song" at a time.

everything was in its place in my nightly ritual
my room enveloped me with a feeling of security
i had episodes of my favorite show, ready to be played
and my favorite midnight treats all in a bucket

a well-deserved break from negativity, in the safety of my house
but i still felt empty.

see, the only way for me to really feel at home is to
open my closet, reach in its darkest corner
and grab for my only memory of you- a sweater
that's obviously seen better days
but it had your smell, your warmth
and finally, as i wrapped it around me,
i felt relieved.

and that's a problem.

Witness the unknown
Reach the unforeseen
Travel,to live
Penniless and Excited.

Burn the midnight oil
Drifting through subconscious visions
Toil, for such majestic realms
Penniless and Excited.

When hunger strikes
Kingdoms, rather Dynasties, fall
For the ever growing appetite
A man hunts
Penniless and Excited.

That sweet spot, a special place
Where love is felt
To live, love
Penniless and Excited.

Travel.
Dream.
Hunt.
Love.
Penniless and Excited!