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cassie marie Nov 2018
he once told me
"you're eyes are gorgeous"
but i didn't believe you
i thought
"how could he love my brown eyes"
how could he love something so ugly

he told me
they were captivating
he could get lost in them
he could stare at them all day and never get tired of them
he pointed out all the colors they were in the sunlight
he pointed out how my eyes weren't just brown
they were green
and blue
and yellow
and brown.
he told me that he could lose himself in my eyes

i guess he lost himself so bad
that he left me
maybe i left him
but
to this day
i've learned to love my eyes.
my ex actually told me this, kinda made me cry writing this but oh well
Gillian Godwin Nov 2018
It has been a while
Since that time.
You know.
That night.
My first date
And that carnival ride.

Yeah,
I'm terrified.

Tell me how you managed it,
How you remember it.

Because young sir,
I highly doubt it is the same as I.
Or do you wake up screaming too?

Because I do.
Never forgetting
Always blaming myself
For something I had no control over.

Did you enjoy my innocence?
Because I wish I could have it back.
That you hadn't done what you had
That I didn't have to see your heart of black.

It still hurts down there.
That place.
You were inside of me before I could say a single thing.
Before I could even say "No"

You make me sick.
So sick that I wanna bleed.
But everyone knows now
And trying to keep me sane.

I had told you that I was saving myself
But all you could say,
"Please Baby, Please!
I love you so much!
Just give me this much!"

Didn't know what to do,
I just freeze.
What am I suppose to say
What do I do now?
Do I talk to my mother and father
Face that judgement
Or do I block it all away with a smile

What do I do
What do I do
What do I do now?!

What the hell am I suppose to do now?!
You hurt me!
You broke me!
I'll never forget!
Pray to a God I no longer trust?!
You both were suppose to protect me and look at me NOW!

I'm ******* bleeding from my wrists!
I have no remorse.
I can't ******* sleep no more
Can't even hug my father.
What am I gonna do now...?!
The problem is I’m drunk on Halloween weekend
the problem is every time I drink I wanna tell you I love you
the problem is I start to say it to all the wrong people.
I had two tequila sunrises and two blue long islands.
Blue long island tastes like your kisses that night a year ago and tequila tastes like regret when I see what I texted you
tomorrow morning. And it all boils down to the fact,
when I slept with the other guy, I finally understood why you
hurt me so much. It felt so good knowing the power was in my hand .Holding his heart in my fist, knowing he made love to me but I ****** him, just like you ****** me. But I still love you. In the drunken haze of my emotions, I still love you. And when you ask me, while I'm sober, if I still have feelings for you, I’ll ask,
“Does hate count as a feeling?”
October Aug 2018
Heartbreak is an inevitable thing.
I knew this. I knew that throughout the course of my early life, I would experience many heartbreaks.
You know, the ones where it wasn’t meant to be. Life designed to have these strategically planned heartbreaks so that you could grow, you could learn.
A pain so real, it is as though the pain is literally reconfiguring your insides as it moves through you; staying just long enough to shape you, but not long enough to become you.
Our hearts like a key getting resized and fitted for the next lock.
Getting so far into the lock before realizing it’s not a match, our heart, getting shaped and sized per each of these attempts. Shaping up until it finds the right lock; the day when your key fits and you know it’s a match – the feeling people refer to as “when you know, you know”.

Is it possible, however, to find your match- the lock that you are finally meant to open, but while turning the key something goes wrong?
What once was a perfect fit, now sits ajar. The answer: I don’t know.
I loved a man.
A perfect fit.
Our love was trusting, it was giving, it was deep, and strong, and passionate.
I loved this man with all of my being;
and he loved me back.

This man is dead.
That’s what breaking up with someone feels like, anyways.
It is as if they are dead.
You will no longer talk with them, share with them, kiss them, hug them, touch them, love them.
They will no longer hold you at night while you sleep.
They will no longer embrace you in the morning, kiss you when you wake.
It is as though they do not exist.
Not to you anyway; or you to them.
October Aug 2018
today is your birthday
I hope you know that if I could
if I could say it
I would say happy birthday
but I cant
I can't congratulate you on another year
but I hope there's cake
and candles too
like the ones I used to do
but that's over
however, your day is not
so take a shot
"cheers to 28"
today is his birthday. the (ex)love of my life's birthday. but i'll never tell him happy birthday and he'll never know i wrote this.
Pyrrha Aug 2018
Why did it take us a year to fall apart?
Did we ever fall in love in the first place,
Or did we meet each other just to replace
A lonely void we dreamt to erase?

Had I known you were that sort,
I'd never have let you hold my hand.
I'd never have let you make me smile.
I'd have never allowed you into my heart, into my mind.

Had I known you'd laugh and lie
With the same lips that used to kiss mine,
I'd have never let you near
To all those things that I held dear.
mitus Aug 2018
I sleep,
Mind cluttered with thoughts of you.
Tears rolling gently down my cheeks, furiously away from my eyes.
Knowing that you don't think about me anymore,
The way you used to.
mjad Aug 2018
Nose below the water
Steam clouds my view
Before my eyes
my hands find you
Pyrrha Jul 2018
You aren't a man
If you think you can not only treat her like an object
But forget that she is a part of me
That we work together as a whole machine

You aren't a man
If you think you can hold out your hand
And she will simply crumble into it
Because its what you demand

You aren't a man
You are desperate and lonely
Looking for something to fill the void I left behind
But dont you dare try to fill it with her
I wont let you defile her mind
And she wont let you in

You are a boy
Not man enough for her
Not man enough for me
My idiot of an ex-boyfriend texted my best friend asking to be friends with benefits. Not only is he her ex best friend and best friend of her ex(confusing) but he also told her to **** herself last week. Smooth amiright?
lu Apr 2018
today is your birthday.
a year ago today we were on the phone,
at this exact time.
5:00am.
we had been talking since 9pm,
but time flies when you're having fun,
or in my case,
when you're in love.
i remember exactly what we talked about.
how much my parents loved you,
and how much your mom loved me.
how badly we wanted to have our families meet.
and how bad we had always wanted to go to florida.
together.
or go to universal studios
and take pictures in front of hogwarts.

yesterday i watched your instagram story.
and guess where you were?
in front of the hogwarts castle.
i know i can't be mad
or shocked that i wasn't invited.
you're touring with your new best friends.
meeting more people.
more girls.
prettier than me.
better than me.

however, we exchanged our first words in months.
i snapchatted you to say
happy birthday. a civil thing.
i didn't think you would answer,
so it nearly gave me a heart attack when your name popped up.

"thank you so much, lex. miss you."
that's all you said,
followed by a yellow heart.

i know you don't miss me,
and that was all out of pity.
maybe you want to feel better about leaving me behind.
maybe you know how badly i'm hurting.
but,
maybe you might actually miss me too.
i doubt it though.

boys like you don't love
girls like me.

boys like you don't kiss
girls like me.
not anymore at least.
i should have said i missed him too.
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