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Gillian Godwin Nov 2018
It will be okay.
  Don't you remember?                    
He will keep you safe.          

even if it may be from yourself.              

It's alright.
He really cares for you.
He showed his pain too,
He cried in front of you,
He cried with you.

What are you afraid of?              





"Being another cause for his pain.."  
       She says.
  Nov 2018 Gillian Godwin
abby
We are the ones who are hard to understand
We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre
because the ending scene made us cry
We'll stop to smell the roses
because they deserve to be appreciated
We are the ones who will take the time
to learn what keeps you up at night
We are the ones who will imagine
an entire future of adventures
with the people who show us love

We are the ones who will love you more
than we love ourselves
We will give you our strongest parts
in hopes that we can make things better
We desire to see you become the best you
to make sure that you always feel our love
We crave affection and appreciation
We give a piece of ourselves away every day
sometimes to people who don't deserve it
Our love is easy to take advantage of
and sometimes we don't get back
the love that we give away

When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart
We constantly have to put ourselves back together
We are more fragile than we like to give off
We carry our emotions on our sleeves
Our flaws have the ability to consume us
We aren't afraid to give you the world
but we are afraid to feel unloved
We want you to see what we see
We want you to understand where we're coming from

We are good people with good intentions
We are stronger than we believe
Not everyone can feel the way we feel
We feel too much, too often
We are not hard to love
We are something not everyone knows how to love
But you need to remember that
your worth does not change just because
no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you

You are not any less lovable
You are the most lovable person in the world
You are a light that the world needs
Your kindness is not your weakness
You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance
You do not need to stop giving love
just because you don't get any back
Your heart is the best thing about you

And one day when you least expect it
someone will notice you from across the room
and know exactly how to love you
They will think all of these things are beautiful
They will deserve the love you can give
They will fill the empty space in your heart
But for now, don't stop feeling
We are the ones who feel everything so deeply
We are the ones who can't give up because
We are the ones who will teach the world
how to love
We are exactly who we are supposed to be
  Nov 2018 Gillian Godwin
Simoné
It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived
Gillian Godwin Nov 2018
It has been a while
Since that time.
You know.
That night.
My first date
And that carnival ride.

Yeah,
I'm terrified.

Tell me how you managed it,
How you remember it.

Because young sir,
I highly doubt it is the same as I.
Or do you wake up screaming too?

Because I do.
Never forgetting
Always blaming myself
For something I had no control over.

Did you enjoy my innocence?
Because I wish I could have it back.
That you hadn't done what you had
That I didn't have to see your heart of black.

It still hurts down there.
That place.
You were inside of me before I could say a single thing.
Before I could even say "No"

You make me sick.
So sick that I wanna bleed.
But everyone knows now
And trying to keep me sane.

I had told you that I was saving myself
But all you could say,
"Please Baby, Please!
I love you so much!
Just give me this much!"

Didn't know what to do,
I just freeze.
What am I suppose to say
What do I do now?
Do I talk to my mother and father
Face that judgement
Or do I block it all away with a smile

What do I do
What do I do
What do I do now?!

What the hell am I suppose to do now?!
You hurt me!
You broke me!
I'll never forget!
Pray to a God I no longer trust?!
You both were suppose to protect me and look at me NOW!

I'm ******* bleeding from my wrists!
I have no remorse.
I can't ******* sleep no more
Can't even hug my father.
What am I gonna do now...?!
Gillian Godwin May 2017
I wasn’t okay and that was okay.

He told me that he wouldn’t be like the others, and that was okay.

He said that he would always be there even when he was away from me, and that was okay.

He said that he would never hurt me, and that was okay.

He even said that he loved me always and forever, and that was okay.



                                                        ­                   Now I’m worse and that’s not okay.

               You aren’t like the others because you are the worst, and now I’m not okay.

             You promised that you would always be there, that’s the one promise that you                          kept. Because now you are everywhere I go, even in my nightmares.

You didn’t hurt me, you just completely broke me. I don’t feel okay.

The biggest lie you ever told me was that you loved me. Because it’s not okay to **** the girl you love. It’s not okay that now I can’t even be touched by other man or get a hug from my best friend, that’s your fault. Thank you for making me worthless.

Always and Forever.
Gillian Godwin May 2017
I wasn’t okay and that was okay.

He told me that he wouldn’t be like the others, and that was okay.

He said that he would always be there even when he was away from me, and that was okay.

He said that he would never hurt me, and that was okay.

He even said that he loved me always and forever, and that was okay.



                                                                           Now I’m worse and that’s not okay.

               You aren’t like the others because you are the worst, and now I’m not okay.

             You promised that you would always be there, that’s the one promise that you                          kept. Because now you are everywhere I go, even in my nightmares.

You didn’t hurt me, you just completely broke me. I don’t feel okay.

The biggest lie you ever told me was that you loved me. Because it’s not okay to **** the girl you love. It’s not okay that now I can’t even be touched by other man or get a hug from my best friend, that’s your fault. Thank you for making me worthless.

Always and Forever.
  Aug 2015 Gillian Godwin
Ivy Smith
"I'm fine," she says with a halfhearted grin.
"I'm fine," she says again, waving away a helpful hand.
"I'm fine," she says to herself, several minutes later.
"I'm fine," she whispers, wiping her face.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she says moments after the cry leaves her lips.
"I'm fine," she says to herself, sinking to the floor.
"I'm fine," she tells herself, shaking in a ball.
"I'm fine," she repeats, picking up the razorblade.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she says to her concerned family.
"I'm fine," she insists as those who love her worry.
"I'm fine," she says to anyone who listens.
"I'm fine," she lies as she slices her wrists.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she cries, sobbing on the bathroom floor.
"I'm fine," she wails, but only in a whisper.
"I'm fine," she mutters, watching the blood leave her wrist.
"I'm fine," she practices, stepping from the room.
She's not fine.

"I'm fine," she assures the world outside.
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