No song explains it, no poems I’ve read
So I guess I must write one, to express what’s dead
He loves me, I am sure
But my soul does he adore?
He loves me as we are supposed to
The way they tell you when you say “I do”
Here is the thing though, I must express
We have fallen way too far, the subject I must press
A marriage once made for love has changed
Now a business partnership, tasks exchanged
I know between us love is there
But it’s a chore now, what despair
“I cannot live without you.”
He says to me, but “I can’t live with you.”
I scream in my head
My soul almost dead
I do not blame you, or who you are
I blame us both, for driving this far
I must confess I wish we could…
But we cannot, it’s no longer any good
We deserve better, we deserve love
Not the kind that we have, as it’s fading
But the kind with clear cut passion, no shading
It’s the rare, true, and scariest goal
To find someone to love your soul
My heart sings for you, and what we built
My soul cries out to me, filled with guilt
For I have neglected it’s thirst for a drink
You see, that is more important, I think
To follow your soul, fill it with its desires
To explore and find adventures, until it expires
I cannot miss out on another cry
For my soul needs fed or it will die
I tried to express, what I now confess
I tried to express, I even gave you my compass
Maybe you have a different map
Is it worth it to try? Or is it a trap?
I must go now, as my soul has a call
To live life, and experience it all!

You could have numbed the pain
but instead I turn to whiskey.

I drink away the sins and pain
I wonder if you miss me.

You left but it's unclear why
there is nobody here to get me through it all.

So I drink myself unholy
and pour my heart out onto the table.

I'm soon to turn 30,
Yet one thing still easily slips my fingers,
I've read so many books,
I've watched so many tutorials,
I've blamed myself,
I've blamed others,
I've given up .

Then I get pull right back in.
The hope of fulfillment of a promise,
Achieving the desires in of my heart,
The longing I've buried so long,
The need that won't be ignored.

I get pulled right back in,
With a soul that seems mature,
A person that is loving, caring enough
To have me dreaming,
To have me hoping,
To revive my longing,
From the deep depths,
of my caged up heart.

The cycle then repeats,
Everything starts to fade,
My heart shrieks in pain,
I decide never again.
I give up on the dream.
I bury it all away,
Never to ache again ,
From a Love that I once thought would last.

In the meantime,
I need a drink.
Make it a red wine,
Something good for the heart finally.