Blocked.
Blocking the hope of a text message.
A chance to even get in my head more.
Closed.
Closing the sheets in my room so I don’t get a  glimpse of you.
Down.
Keeping my head down as I walk into the room.
So that my eyes don’t “ironically” find you.
Cold.
The chills I get when I walk past you.
Lies.
The foundation of our “relationship”.

"Life has its ups and downs"
someone said, and I thought
up and down is a state of mind:
our minds make meanings
of an unknown Destiny
to decide
how happy or unhappy
we should be.
And happiness is complex:
we are happy
about various situations to different degrees,
while being unhappy
about various situations to different degrees.
And unhappiness doesn't necessarily mean 'down':
Is there an experience of joyful-unhappiness?:
when we decide to be unhappy about a situation
while joyfully striving to improve the situation
to increase our joy and happiness.

I broke my toilet
And my narrative
Humor was profound like the war

People will hurt you and then act like it was you who hurt them.

My failings are justified
Ghosting your presence
Love me once meant life
Kindred lips part ways
Varied volume waves your force
Happiness used to be your metaphor for me
Climbing down now
Grounded grinding and generous