I’m too smart to fail
I’m too good to mess up
I’m too pretty to be insecure
I’m too talented to be doubtful
I’m too perfect to be anxious
I’m too loved to hate myself

I wish this was the truth.

Sometimes I find myself wishing for more;
That I could make something better than before.
Everything I’ve done is a one-time exception;
I face myself with thorns rather than acception.

Surely my successes were merely chance!
Ideas don’t come to me like they did in the past.
People say they see talent in me, I see nothing—
Then again, would I even know I was good at something?

Hope here is dead. Man in a box, Cobain in my head.
Court me some love and spin on my throne,
Of brittle remorse.

Sick in the womb, the silver spoon pollutes.
Tiny tadpole in the pool, grows to patrol the Black Lagoon.
Devouring the newt it once knew.

Fearful men, conceal their worries, in tall tales of courage.
Ironclad, Iconoclast. Kings and heroes alike,
Plant their flags in fields of ash.

I am like
a small dog,
every second
I need confirmation
that I am loved.
Every absence
encases an eternity
of solitude.

Was I
a good boy?
I might have been told so
a few minutes ago
but how about now?
My self doubt
will last forever,
only to be dispelled the next time
you place your hand on my head.

But withdraw your touch
and the next eternity
starts again.

I’m so far from heaven
But also far from hell
I’m stuck in a world that doesn’t want me
And I don’t want to be here
Even less

Gloomy days lay ahead
For those that accept their fate
Living in autopilot
Believing the lies of the liars
Always afraid of the change

I try to assimilate to everyone around me
No one is ever the same
It’s hard work to be liked
When your identity doesn’t exist
I want you to notice me
But do you even know who you are?

I can spend a whole lifetime
Searching for myself
Alone in this lonely world
My mind compartmentalizes my trauma
Even then, I feel to damaged to go on

I need your love so desperately
Because without you I can’t go on
Please love me
Because your love is all I need
To fight these demons inside
I look at the mirror
To see if today is the day
You’ll finally love me
Better luck tomorrow
Today has been marred by self doubt

I think I've been forgotten
nobody knows
how long I've been away
however, in the details
the uncertainty shows.

There is no grave,
no marker
no way to pay respects
so please just move along
and just continue to forget.

I get stuck too,
because
sometimes
I wonder
what to say
when I
myself have not finished my waiting,
my obsessions, my doubt, ...
and when I finish it,
how will I be able to advise you?

How I can be sure?

When, still, all my obsessions
and commitments
go hand in hand.

I don't know,

Honestly,

Sometimes,

If these words are not superfluous,
Forgive me for announcing you
That you have your own life,
Wait for it!
As she waited for you …

Optimism stands on my left shoulder,
And pessimism upon the other.

One screams,''**** yourself dumb *****!''
But the other whispers vise versa.

the genius
of his spirit isn't
allowed to be
confident

the muses around
his works
laugh at his
shy hubris

his connections
to the creative are
buried under a
desert

his voice
is full
of charisma
and doubt

there's something
in the way
of love

his heart is
alone in hell

in his father's
home
searching for the
way

his life is a
lightbulb
as bright as
it is empty

just like his
poetry