in just one instant everyone separates
                    from the images we loved the most,
and dear friend
you will lay
               fragile and
                in pain beside the frames.

I left you thinking about many things
and hopefully you will think a bit of me along the way.

You know,
dear friend,
in this path towards death
              called life,
I feel well accompanied
I feel almost satisfied
when I picture that far away,
                                              wherever you are,
maybe you believe my words before going to bed
or come across me in the streets of your dreams.

The thunder claps loudly
but the following silence is heavier.
Two sets of eyes search for comfort in darkness
-they're blinded when the sky blinks red again.
The clouds sigh green,
it's not deep- you're 16
but you sigh, when
you're asked
to repeat
what you said
again

A careless comment made without a second thought.
A whim with hidden selfish intent.
Saying you'll listen, but stopping me as I start to speak,
Unable to look into my eyes as I weep.
Only liking me when I'm smiling and energetic.
You say that's not true, but look at your actions.
What's your voice really saying?

Shaken and scared, I ask you to comfort me.
Picking and choosing my words carefully, as you fail to understand the meaning.
Seeing how insignificant myself and others are,
Why do I keep trying when their true faces are so ugly?
"Don't judge a book by it's cover", yet beauty has nothing to do with intent.
The colors I try to paint turn into a black puddle seeping at my feet.
"Isn't it beautiful?" I ask. They nod, not even acknowledging the hidden message.

Upon returning home, I set the canvas ablaze.
"No one listens  when I truly speak what I mean. They want a grey lie, constructed carefully with a trying smile, not this ugly black sin.
All of them.
All of them.

"I'm listening."
"I'll be there."
"You're safe."
"You can trust me."
"I love you."

Withdrawn, I humor your words with an analytical expression.
You deny any subtle suggestion of fault, pressing further down the rabbit hole I've expelled you from,  and yet you wonder why we aren't close.
I lose my patience and break you off, returning to a slumber where I choke from a lie that truly hits my core.

You, the only person who truly matters,
taken away in a squad car when we had just stopped for ice cream.
These unfamiliar faces take you away, saying it's unacceptable.
I reflect as I wait for your trial, trying to break you free.
I realize that this world must be wrong, with it's gaze cast full of judgement.
My eyes cloud with tears as I realize my sins, my hypocrisy.
I'm no better, yet I can't help but scream as they take you away.
Do I really have a right?

This hatred I have for those who pin the vulnerable,
The unacceptable.
Are my actions really any different?
Shaken,  I focus these inward emotions into an explosion.
The red on the canvas fades to black, and I camouflage into the city nightscape.

Your word feed my depression causing its voice to be louder,
Making sure everything you said takes my happiness and happily devour.
I’m worthless, waste of space and ill mount to nothing,
Is only the few things you said that felt like a knife on my skin cutting.
The amount of times you said those things to me,
I started to think why me.
I was never happy being your easy target,
I’m not stupid lazy nor am I *******.
Tears have been wasted on your words.

         I couldn’t tell anyone,
Why?
Because they will tell me,
He’s only making fun.
Don’t take him on.

I no longer going to allow you to feed my depression,
Staying away from you has been the best decision.
That also meant leaving certain people behind,
Since they want to be blind.
I finally see the people I used to hang around from a different lens,
I now know what kind of people to not call my friends.

"it's so cold in there now",
"where?" he asks,
"in your eyes".