You were so full of good intentions
but nothing ever goes your way
love how you lie to me
every time you're staring me in the face
do you think that I'm stupid, girl?
You've never dealt with a man like this

You can pretend nothing ever happened (girl)
I'll never believe another word you say
you know you really went and hurt me
Not don't go say, "But babe"
It's not something I need to hear today
Just walk, walk away
before this anger turns into rage

Plant my fist through the wall
As you walk out that door
Fall to my knees
as the blood from my hand
Drips onto the floor
I close my eyes
Try to forget that you were in my bed
with another man.
The scars are running deeper
with every blow
Light up a smoke
to take a drag
grab a drink from the fridge
Just stop, just stop
I don't want to think

You can pretend nothing ever happened (girl)
I'll never believe another word you say
you know you really went and hurt me
Not don't go say, "But babe"
It's not something I need to hear today
Just walk, walk away
before this anger turns into rage

Razor blade cuts to release the strain
can't bandage a heart that's been broken
you chipped away
all the pieces
that was left in me
I held on hope
you'd never do this to me
What were you thinking?
I treated you beautifully
Every time I looked at my reflection
I saw you standing next to me
I tore up all the pictures
Tried to erase the memories
Unfortunately, You'll always be a part of me.

You can pretend nothing ever happened (girl)
I'll never believe another word you say
you know you really went and hurt me
Not don't go say, "But babe"
It's not something I need to hear today
Just walk, walk away
before this anger turns into rage

You were so full of good intentions
but nothing ever goes your way
love how you lie to me
every time you're staring me in the face
do you think that I'm stupid, girl?
You've never dealt with a man like this

You can pretend nothing ever happened (girl)
I'll never believe another word you say
you know you really went and hurt me
Not don't go say, "But babe"
It's not something I need to hear today
Just walk, walk away
before this anger turns into rage

©2018 Written By Benji James

FOR loving ME
FOR BEING SO ABOVE ME
EVEN THROUGH YOUR INFERIORITY-
FOR DOING SO MUCH FOR ME
BUT ACTUALLY DOING SO LITTLE.
DON’T LOOK AT ME, BUT
PLEASE DON’T LOOK AWAY.

I FIND MYSELF TANGLED IN YOUR SATIN BEDSHEETS.
AS OFTEN AS I FIND MYSELF TANGLED IN WORDS AT YOUR THROAT.
I CAN'T STRESS IT ENOUGH.
I NO LONGER FEEL love. I FEEL ALL OF THE WEIGHT, THOUGH YOUR TOUCH MAKES THE LOAD OF CONDITION WEIGHTLESS.
THE LIFT OF THIS BURDEN IS MOMENTARY.
WE GRAVITATE, WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT.
I HATE YOU
FOR loving ME.

I look at myself in the mirror,
Unsure why
I don’t like what I see,
But how can I change?
I was made this way for a reason
And I will stay this way forever.

I don’t want to be like this forever.
I look at my reflection in the mirror
And I do it for a reason,
Even though I don’t know why.
But I guess I want to change
Although it’s not that easy, you see...

I hate what I see,
And I don’t want to be this way forever.
But I don’t know how to change.
Because what I see in the mirror
I think is ugly. You ask why?
Well even I don’t know the reason.

And there is a reason,
That I am still unable to see
And I know why.
Because no matter what, I will think this way forever
And continue to look in the mirror
Wanting my body to change.

I want myself to be different, to change
And it’s like that for a reason.
I can only see myself in the mirror
And I hate what I see.
It will be like this forever
No matter how many times I ask ‘why’.

I cry and scream and yell out ‘why’,
Because I want my body to change.
I will cry forever
For the very good reason
That I hate what I see
When I look in the mirror.

I now know why and it will stay like that forever,
I look in the mirror and am disgusted with what I see,
But I see that I can’t change myself and that is the reason.

upon a hill with the birch and pine
into the shade of north mountain rain
past the foot-marks and berry bushes
i tear into the frame of what makes me.

i dig holes into dim reflections
and use and fuse the self shut.

tongue can taste the ripping of wounds
the sour and gluttonous spite
my greedy mouth chews and chews.
teeth tear the rusty bearings lose

and i sink in the swell of the sea
where the stinging is most.

im proud of my progress and where i am
but i still dont see myself as someone i want to live with

sticky kisses for the missus just
to prove that i'm no wuss
and if it tastes good enough for you
it's good enough for me too.
don't you miss the blissful ignorance
chinese whispers and rumours
written on the tarmac in chalk
for the wind to pick up
and carry on to other schoolyards
eat lots of pineapple, it'll make you taste good.
did she eat ten a penny aniseed sweets for me?
she seeps liquid liquorice
that binds my teeth in a bittersweet grimace
stretching from ear to ear. she hates the taste
and i hate to share my just desserts.
innocence is a burden that burns
like empty lungs, and no breathing in
again until i get what i want,
bad enough to make the children
want to **** themselves. when they want
sticky kisses before bedtime.