Like candy floss in my mouth,
Like smoke you disappear
I’m chasing after ghosts it seems
Not sure you’re really there.

Wrapped up in your promises,
Your perfect warm embrace.
You’re the only type of daydream
I would give my life to chase;

I am nothing to no-one.
Like a comet, you cannot find me.
Only catch a glimpse.
Out of the corner of your eye.
As I disappear in a blink.
To someone else's space.

I'm right here
this is me
can't you see who I am pretending to be

I'm right here
this is me
can't you see I want you next to me

I'm right here
this is me
can't you see that I am lonely

I'm right here
this is me
can't you see I can barely breathe

I'm right here
this is me
am I covered by an invisible sheet?

I'm right here
this is me
why am I turning into a memory?

I'm right here
this is me

Just imagine if I disappeared,
Would your memory of me be blurred?
Rusting away in your mind,
Leaving me behind.
A face you had known, a name you had heard.

What would it feel like to delve my fists into the wall,
and not feel a thing.
Would my heart burst into flames or flowers?
Would I gush out blood or glitter?

I’ve always said that I feel nothing.
I am numb and I am fine,
but my heart is filled with butterflies,
and they feel every lie.

I’d never want to stop feeling.
Numbness is a dark place,
and my heart is so much kinder in the sun.

I’ve never really seen myself smile,
or maybe I forgot how.
I’ve been stuck in a storm for as long as I remember.
Black clouds guide me from above,
sometimes I see the sun peak out,
but I’m blinded by its path.

So I linger under the darkness,
and wonder what it would be like, to be the wall,
And not feel a thing,
to blend like milk into the blandness of everyone's day,
and eventually disappear.

Where do I begin? I'm lost. So much is personal you see. I had apps and apps full of feelings, moods, poems, my stories and goings on saved onto my device. Now these apps suddenly disappeared, so I downloaded them only to discover they won't reappear! I don't understand, I can't comprehend. I didn't memorize all of those months in some and years in others to recall so I can't just rewrite. Sure instead I could've used paper & pen & locked them away from peering eyes elsewhere but guess what notebooks on top of of notebooks from all my years also to did the act of a disappear. Yes, burned in my house fire with most of my prized possessions that were photos of some but the photos that meant the most were the photos of a man that loved me most and loved me more than any other could, my dad. My dad the man that died & left me to a cruel family that could only hate... only hate me that is. I was so little when he died and I never understood why I wasn't allowed to take that ride to death... with him. Anyone reading this by chance, do you know how I can get the content in those apps back? If I write the things I wrote there esp of recent events then you'd think it's an improper way to vent not being in poetic form and such. It's pretty weird, different and personal too, but my wounds are deep and writing them gave some relief. Now they've disappeared.
No poetry here, just asking for help that'd be much appreciated. Thanks and blessings.

You and I live on a ball
That runs its race without tiring at all.
It gently spins at a constant pace,
Proudly carrying the human race.
How long will you and I be here?
Forever, till when we disappear.
The future and past now are not.
Our present self is what we have got.
So give your heart and soul into this moment.
It is here for you to play with, so pwn it!

You keep on running back to me,
You sneak into my skin,
Banging on my frail bones, shouting
“Please let me come in!”
I try to keep the blinds closed
And pretend that I’m not here,
But you wait until I yield to you
Before you disappear.