She tried to protect the small child inside, did everything she could. Acted like a wall for his words to bounce against, accepted the blame for a behavior which was not her own. Kept her chin up and took on a smile in front of the child, so that the child would not be harmed. In order for this to be successful, no one could know the reason this child was being protected. She constantly stood behind a barrier who kept her from reaching out, all this for the child. It took her a long time to see that these barriers where broken down long ago, matter of fact they might never been there. The child was no longer a child, it was only her. Only her and no one else in reach.

I hear you.
I know you’ve been telling your friends **** about me.
I see people looking at me because of you.
But they don’t know what I know.
They don’t know about what you told me.
And they don’t know me.
But I know you.
I hear you.

Forever was not for us.
But some parts of me had hope.
But I knew.
I knew I would be the one who got hurt.
And I was.
But I can’t deny my feelings for you.
But no one can know.
They think you are an *******.
But they don’t know you like I do.
I don’t want to miss you because you’re not the same anymore.
But I can’t help it.
You made me so happy when I thought no one could.
But you were different.
You were different and I want the feeling you made me feel back.

Them: “He isn’t answering”
Me: “He is typing slowly”
him answering the second after I said that
Them: “you really know him”

Yes, unfortunately I do. 2 years later, and I still remember little things like that.

The thought of you makes me want to throw up, a lot.
The boy I used to know, where did he go?
I miss someone who no longer exist, how did it end up like this?
How did we end up like this?