I hear you calling.
Your beckoning to me.
You don't want me to leave.
Your want me to stay.

You tell me how you'll miss me,
Then question my loyalty,
Ask what you could say
To convence me to remain.

I can't turn away
From my destiny.
I'm following the light
That comes to me in dreams
In the hours of the night.

It's rare to see beyond
The scope of one's existence.
I want to live
A life that is enriched
With wide-splayed experience.

There are oceans I want to see,
And parades that honor life.
I want to beat on drums
And stroll along the boulevard.

You grab on to my arm,
As you say you won't let me go.
I sat up last night
And thought of how you wield control.

Now see the blood in my eyes
With the lack of your faith.
Baby, I know it,
Your love is a wraith.

Blood in my eyes,
Slack in my faith,
Baby, I honor,
I commemorate
Those who follow
Their dreams evermore.
Live the dream,
That's what it's for.

The day has come to reconcile
Yourself to what is to come.
The power that you had
Over my life now is gone.

I won't wish you sadness,
And I know I won't reflect.
I put the past behind me,
We never could connect.

I hope your dreams come true.
And your life won't make you blue.
Accept that I am leaving,
And there is nothing to say or do.

Watch, if you want, I'll glisten.
While I'm dancing down the lane.
I'll be a speck of light.
There will be no refrain.

My skull echos loudly
Inside are roaring thoughts
Pounding like waves crashing into ships
I need quiet, I need tranquility
Perhaps if I opened the lid of my scalp
I could spill out all the excess noise
As I sew my scalp in place Clarity would whisper in my ear "peace is yours dear"
Clarity sweeping her delacate fingers across my restless bones
The rattling would stop
The roaring would silence
At the touch of Clarity 's shimmering skin

Cup your palms around
that candle dear lazy
Spells to cast to the wombs
keep our ghosts outside
peering into tent *****
yellowing irises and
stamens strangely swaying
but nonsense
Butte no
out there
they stalk you dear lazy

Dear diary,
I miss myself.. the one who likes to smile and bring bright colors wherever she goes,
im not me anymore.
thats the sad thing for many  people they say they miss my big smile or my wonderful laugh.
i just nod and agree with them they say i still have it..the joy,hope the old me.
i know thats not true.
im not me.
im the one who became shattered,broken into bits because of them the ones who are suppose to love me,the ones who are suppose to bring and make memories with me.
the ones who are supposed to teach me how to trust,
the ones who are supposed to be trusted by me.

                 the ones who are suppose to be loved by me,    

the ones who have to be loved by me,
the ones who are loved by me but very little,
the ones who are suppose to help me when everything is falling apart!
i need them but, they're not here
i need them but they're not there.
for me.
it hurts to see them destroying each other..
including themselves..
they're bringing me with them,
im going down into the deep dark hole they call hell.
they're destroying me with them..
they don't even care!
how could they?
hello?
im alone now theyre dead.
help..
please someone..
they're not coming back .thats a lot like them to do that.
they're my parents,
family..
they matter to me,
i guess i dont matter to them..
i still love them though,
just like their innocent..
thats a lot like me to still love them.

I’m writing this to you
Telling you were through
I can’t take you any more
Don’t know what I liked you for
All you did was wear me out
Now I know what your all about

You came to me with promise and joy
Now look at all the things you destroy
Families, lives, bank accounts you see
You ruined it all with one little tease
Look at the way you make me feel
Then you take it all and want me to steal

Why can’t you just go and hide
Somewhere far away where I’ll never find
Everyone at home don’t understand
How you rip me apart , then lend me a hand
I keep coming back thinking inside
Maybe this time I’ll make you my bride

Then I sit and wonder why
Why do you really want me to die
Thousands and thousands come to you
Hoping and praying you’ll help them through
Then they fall for your lending hand
Only to realize your nothing but a scam

You promised me heaven and sent me to hell
You ruined my life and then wished me well
Watch me now as I go on my way
I’m washing myself of all of your pain
So you and your power can just leave me be
I’m taking my life and setting it free

Just the thought of you can
Give me butterflies
I let them fly
While I think of you some more