anger burns so deep within me ,
i dont know where
it stops .
               .
                .

god told me there was a mistake
when creating
you

(and he whispers when he lies)

so
look me in the eyes next time --

tell me it's not painful .
.

it's a loaded term.
branded and historically stern.
While the shadow still remains
after the setting sun --
your pain will remain.

This is the ORIGIN of shame.

Have you not learned?
how They play game?
paint us out to be insane.

I wasn't given a choice.
I was given a name.



-- that i haven't changed.

If you find yourself in constant dismay
About your life, the world at large or simply **** today
You have two paths to walk and one ends colorless and grey
You sat and did nothing,  but had plenty to say.

What is that contribution that you speak?
Being in tune with the news and the daily beat?
Have you tuned out so that you could actually hear?
The connection is deafening and you walk away filled with fear.

So make you choice now or accept your fate
Right now is the only thing that is certain and safe.
But if you prefer to project life beyond the now
There will be a time when you will realize the answer to the question:
How?

There are those who speak and inspire
That's good and fine
But can you call the actions of others your own
Or can I call them mine?
No.
You need to make something from nothing
You need to blow your mind
Or else you're wasting air
And you're wasting you're own time.

This is my real talk, just hope you like it.
It's a bit lengthy, but give it a shot please.
✅

I live for the future I'll be making, who made that future which is my present?

Am I responsible?

Am I held guilty of the life I think is miserable to me?

I control my actions, though some things make me have no say in them, like they are merely ought to be, but are they?

I don't believe anything is written. We just rewrite everything assuming it's imagination; the power of The Mind,  isn't it ephemeral? Everything? Time?

What is the destination we are colliding into? Should we move along every particle flying towards nothing? There is no real escape.
As I rabble the riverside and dunk my feet into its soothing, should I let go?
Move along?
Or might I stand still, held by my own weight down, like those pebbles in rest, nestling beneath me,
what is flowing has to return to rub against them, why should I meander aimlessly,  come back to what I am?
Travel so far for what I am now.  Searching for what I need everywhere else,when it is me I need to be.
Should I not proceed?

What is beyond me?
Or is there just me?
Because when I'm gone,  there really is nothing for me.
I am and I was, but can I say for sure that there will be a me?

Something radioactive degrades,  transits into another form. Is the time that's degrading, being formed somewhere else?
Is there another life exploding? To be heard?
Or to just be left as it is,  untouched by our Midas one?

Is that other time nearby, few steps from our physical self; light years away,
Or is it yet a million years to go?
Because I don't have a million years to live,
To stay, to define my destiny.
The pain of the past won't leave so I'd have to,
To leave behind me, 
My legacy.

to make art that entertains the people that don't know
to make art that bores the people that do

to create for the ignorant to enjoy
to create for the wise to ignore

to produce something that the shallow lavish
to produce something that the indepth expect

to shape an idea that fools them
to shape an idea that makes you the fool

to be mediocre at my passion
to be mediocre at my life