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Bethie Dec 2019
If I didn't value you in your life
Is it worth honoring you in your death?
I didn't care to see you
And now I won't
And I never missed you
But now I will
Why am I so stupid?
They're distressed
So am I
We're all suffering
Except you
Not anymore
You could probably beat all of us in a race right now
I never said goodbye
Bethie Dec 2019
I still want to be alone
My grandfather is still dead
But now I'm not cold
I went inside

Now my face is hot
And my tears burn my checks
And my blood is boiling
Why did he have to die?
Bethie Dec 2019
"I wanna be alone"
I whisper to myself
As my voice echos
In this empty space

My breath makes a cloud
And my body shakes
The tears on my face freeze
My grandfather is dead
Bethie Nov 2019
I haven't written a poem
In 10 months, almost
Which is the same amount of time
We've been dating

And in the past 10 months
I've learned a lot
I learned to show emotions
And to cry

I learned the joy of having a person
To love and to love me
And I also learned the complete and utter pain
Of constant distance

I learned to not fear companionship
Or intimacy
And I realized how much it hurts
To miss those things

So these past 10 months
Grew me
I was handed my greatest dream
And biggest fear
Bethie Oct 2019
I haven't written a poem
In a very, very long time.
Quite a bit has changed
Bethie Jan 2019
My greatest fear, I've just now found
Is not of snakes or dark
It's not of even ghosts or death
Or of pain that leaves a mark

My greatest fear occurred to me
While I was out with friends
They wanted to go out to eat
But my curfew made that end

They said they might go anyway
For time was fading fast
It stuck me then, just standing there:
My fear, I saw at last

My fear is not of hurt or pain
It's not of lonely sorrow
My fear is getting left behind
While the world goes to tomorrow
Bethie Jan 2019
I don't know what to think
I don't know what to say
I never thought it'd happen
But it happened just today

I've liked him all these years
I watched and loved and prayed
He never, ever noticed me
So I lingered, quite dismayed

But now the tide had changed
And pulled me right along
So here I document the change
In this poem, my heart's song

It seems he saw me watching
It seems he sensed my love
It seems an even greater one
Heard my praying from above

So I don't know what to think
And I don't know what to say
I never thought it'd happen
Yet it happened just today
He asked me out, he really did
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