Getting too cold for walking this way,
Getting too old from playing these games.
Sweat on my hands expose my emotions,
Revealing my secrets, showing my motives.

Ticking bombs going off,
When they laugh and scoff.
They don’t see it, they don’t feel it.
They lock it away until they unseal it.

Being lost in life doesn’t mean,
You have to find your way to be seen.
Pain will eternally follow you,
So don’t let it be the end of you.

Can’t fall asleep, I’m too tired of me.
Wishing for my dreams to become realities.
I know they are far, I know they are distant.
But I can’t just ignore the feelings deep from within.

Wishing I was better, wishing I was stronger,
No one to read letters, no one to honor.
Fallen mistakes only get worse,
Exactly the same, exactly diverse.

They say humans speak so many words,
But I’m only screaming from how much it hurts.
Yeah I talk all the time, with hope, with doubt.
But only if my whispering conscience counts.

I met a stranger in the bus..a man in the black suit..and I seemed to know him since ages..took the same route as mine..
Ours was a unique acquaintance, it was of smiles and stares, words hardly spared..

But today, today was different..he, with a diminished smile, seemed like he had a taxing day to cuss..in his eyes, he had the world locked like the pandora..
To open it was calamity, and to keep it all in was fatality.. but he was brave, went on burning his soul in the fire of the heist..
I always wanted to ask him about his pursuit, but I was scared of the explosion, he might endure his own Big Bang..

This stranger in the bus, the man in the black suit, who I seemed to know since ages now, was unordinarily restless today. And I couldn’t guess why..
Flicking his fingers, frantic, hasty and teary eyes, who was once my persona for strength, he left me drowning into the depths of my thoughts..
Oh how could I have even resisted, I was falling short of smiles..
Deciding to trade a word today, this harmless stranger extends a clumpsy mind, just like mine.. the troubles were little too wild, and I was compelled to listen..
They said talking helped, but we shared more smiles, words lesser spared..remember ?
The lump in his throat did most of the work.. While I got lost in his unshared troubles, i learnt something tonight..

Melting cold nights and rumbling leaves at the height. The swaying trees and the smooth slow breeze..These are the flaws of nature that are meant to make us feel right. But the evil, vicious ones, loneliness and anxiety, are our unborn progenies, and we nurture them with will and pride..they tell us of our existence, of the blood and flesh and the emotions running through our veins.. they make us pop and bleed, through our ears and eyes.. like the dictators back in time.. they eat through us, mummify us for the rest of our lives..
And this stranger in the bus, the man in the black suit..
I finally sense him.. He held my hand, asked me one simple question.
Why do we weep when we lose control ? Why are there storms and tempests inside our tiny hearts? Why do we feel wounded by the ******* loneliness that we create with our own flesh and blood, our own nurturing ? Why are we possessive about this poison that is freezing our blood, one cell at a time..? Yes, anxiety.. why do we let it turn us blue, **** us ?

I could only wonder, how smoothly he filled all the blanks. The blanks inside my gut. The blanks inside my head, the questions that he slapped in my face left red marks, but the ringing in my ears gave me the answer..

How easily could I let this venom out of my nose, with each exhale, I could sense the fumes of the blue escaping, leaving me with the spectrum of all colours but the one..

I see this stranger in the black suit everyday now. Everyday, In my bed, embracing me into sound sleep, in the mirror telling me that I was the prettiest of all, in my thoughts, in my walks, talks and mindful tirades.
The stranger now is a part of me, he camps inside me.. he replaced my poisons and demons..
And now we look out the window together, and smile more often.. the storms seem sorted now and ****** anxiety sits beside me, not inside me..

My lover hid me under his wings
Away from my unpleasant fears
That he'd rather drown and break his fist
Than see me wear another ring

Yet I don't love my lover
And there's not a reason why
His fragile heart will scatter
For that I should die

My love doesn't love me
Well that's the truth I didn't see
He tempted my soul to leave purity
And as I take a step, little do I know
I was the devil all along